I could use somebody like you,

[jonathanhardcastle]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
LEAVEMYDOOROPENJUSTACRACK
((T A K E M E A W A Y F R O M H E R E))

[/i][/color][/size]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[/font][/center]

A perfect family was an idealistic sort of image. There was no such thing as a perfect person, so the idea that a collective group of imperfect people would create something perfect was just unrealistic. In all honesty, he had little to complain about when it came to his own family but he wasn't daft enough to believe that they didn't have their fair share of problems. Thankfully, the problems were minimal but they still existed. Sometimes his mother and father fought. Sometimes they were about small things such as Quidditch team preferences and other times they were about something much larger. However, the important thing was that they overcame their arguments. He also wasn't foolish enough to believe that his family had it better than most. It was a rare week if he didn't hear someone complain about their family. Of course, he had his complaints about his own, such as his sister dating, but there was not a single member of his family which had ever done anything that caused him a significant amount of pain. In his opinion, that's exactly what families were there for. To be the few people in your life who were guaranteed to never intend to cause you pain.

Honestly, his father had been one of the biggest influences on Jonathan's life. his work ethic was impeccable, as well as his kind heart. If there was anyone that Jonathan aspired to be like it was his father. As cliche as it sounds, it holds a lot of truth. He felt as though every male child should aspire to be like their fathers. But sometimes, sadly, another person's father may not be as great as his own.

However, his mother had a different effect on his personality. While his father had always made sure to instill a good work ethic, his mother had made sure that her son was an understanding person. It was ironic given that she was a Slytherin, the house known for their unaccepting persona. Jonathan had always believed that she'd been placed in that specific house because of her ambition, not her manipulation or any other condescending traits which were associated with that house. But, despite her house, she had always taught her son never to judge a book by its cover. Sometimes, that proved to be a difficult task. But all in all, it was a worthy life lesson.

And, ironically enough, there were things which he had learned from his little sister as well. She seemed to be the complete opposite of him. Alyson was much more impulsive than he was as well as laid back. Jonathan was one of those guys who needed things planned out, while his sister preferred to just go with the flow. Through her he learned that sometimes spontaneity was more blissful than having things planned out. He still wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of whimsically doing things but he'd learned how to deal with people who were like that. It was a little strange how he always seemed to surround himself with people who were spontaneous but when he actually sat and thought about it, it was because he'd grown accustomed to that sort of personality.

Tinsley had one of those contagious laughs. One which Jonathan was unable to laugh along with. His laughter joined hers ceremoniously. He scowled playfully as she threw a wadded up piece of parchment at him. "Oh come on. You hardly know the librarian. She's actually a nice lady when she lets her guard down," he replied, smiling brightly towards her. Seriously though, the librarian got a bad reputation for trying to maintain silence in the library. It wasn't her fault that students got rowdy in there.

Jonathan wished he could consider himself an optimist. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Despite his positive demeanor, he was more realistic than anything. Some people might consider that pessimism but he preferred to call it realism. There were certainly times where he was incapable of looking at a situation logically but for the most part that was how he generally looked at everything. But that was always a constant battle, wasn't it? The war between mind and heart. While his mind won most of the time it would be a lie if he were to say that his heart had never beaten his logic. Why else would he have given Roxanne a second chance?

He knew that smile. Tinsley was giving him the smile which clearly depicted the fact that she knew her words weren't going to comfort him in any way. She knew he was never going to give a guy who dated his sister the light of day. He gave her a knowing look, "I'm pretty sure that any guy who ends up dating my sister won't end up being my best friend. I'm also pretty confident that you know what I mean, I'd give a guy a chance to prove himself but he'd have to really be amazing in order for me to approve of him," he commented honestly. Yes, he was overprotective. He knew that.

Unfortunately, Jonathan was pretty sure that his protectiveness over Alyson was a product of his own failed relations. Was that normal? The pain he had felt over Roxanne was something he would never wish on anyone else, especially his own sister. At the same time, he knew it was ridiculous for him to still feel pain over what Rox had done to him. It had been over a year, hadn't it? With the way he both talked and felt about it, it would have seemed like it had happened yesterday. It was difficult to still be in love with someone you hated.

There were times that he wondered if he or Tinsley held the shorter end of the stick. As far as he knew, she had never experienced love while he had, even if it was a shorter glimpse of it than he had expected. Prior to the incident, that had always been the thing he was unrealistic about...love.

He smiled at her comment. But he knew he wasn't going to find someone while he was at Hogwarts, especially not anytime soon. He wasn't emotionally ready for that sort of thing. He also needed to find someone who was kind, someone who seemed incapable of doing wrong. He needed someone, well, someone like the girl sitting across from him. "I believe the same thing about you," he replied, a smile still present on his face. He knew she could probably find an amazing guy easily. It had always confused him why she never dated.



Comments││
Lyrics││ Fireflies by Owl City
Word Count││ 1095
Status││ finished
Credit││ Goes to caitlin_express@CAUTION 2.0<3

[tinsley]

I SWEAR I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU
(• INEVERMEANTTOLOVEYOU•)

The problem with being human is that you wish for unrealistic things. Impossible dreams. You pray for the world to get better, but yet you make things worse. Some would it's human nature to self-destruct, to make people feel that bitter edge of pain. But then again- was Tinsley any better? She never believed, for one moment, that she was above the rest of the population. As proven in the past, she's made mistakes. But it's the effort that counts, isn't it? At least, that's what she's been telling herself. It's not as if she's being forced against her will, but rather- something that she's pushing her to be. But nevertheless, at the end of the day, she is only human.

When she was young, before she turned eleven, hounds of people would tell her how much she is like her mother. At the time, Katie Wood had been Tinsley's role-model. Tinsley would glow with pride everytime someone would mention the similiar traits that they shared. At the time, Tinsley couldn't see what other people saw. Her mother is a wonderful creature. She had a tinkling laugh and somehow, she knew exactly what to say. As young as she was, Tinsley knew that her mother is exactly the person that she wanted to be. She wanted to be brave as Katie, but yet- somehow switch off to be the gentle and loving person that she is. But despite all that yearning, Tinsley could never really be her mother. Not exactly, at least.

But as she grew old, she started to wonder if that's all people saw in her. All the traits that her parents had, and nothing else. Maybe she was being paranoid, but the need to prove herself was beginning to develope. Tinsley was selfish enough to hope against all odds. After all, she's only human. At times, Tinsley wondered if her parents had rushed into parenthood. It was a cruel thought, yes, but Tinsley couldn't help it. It was like a story. Boy meets girl. They fall in love. They live happily ever after. It was the kind of story that Tinsley struggled not to listen to, afraid to get her hopes up. There's nothing worse than a failed attempt at love.

Her siblings and her family have given her so much, everything that she ever had. Rarely, perhaps once or twice, some Slytherin would want to terrorize her, in hopes of distracting her sister. It wasn't as if Tinsley couldn't stand up for herself, she never really had the chance. By the time she wakes up the next day, everything would be fixed. Courtsey of her siblings. She appreciated everything that her family does, she really do. From loud family reunions to bedtime stories at night- they loved each other. Thus, wasn't it only natural that Tinsley wanted to give something back?

The fact that Jonathan could laugh along with her, Heavens knows why, did not help the fact that she was making a failed attempt of being serious again. Something that rarely ever happens. Tinsley couldn't help but be a bit happier when Jonathan laughed. They've been friends for so long, Tinsley had stopped questioning 'why.' Everything was effortless, something that rarely happens with her regular friendships. He knew who she is, at times when she doesn't, who she's not, and who she wants to be. That's all Tinsley could ever ask for.

A half-smirk appeared on her face as Jonathan made a horrible attempt at scowling. On most people, the expression would be somewhat crude and mean. However, on Tinsley- it looked more like a child-like pout. You know, the one that a four-year old gets when she's being teased but she secretly loves it. " Oh, that's true. But you know " Tinsley dropped her voice to a stage whisper " I've got a reputation to keep. I believe I may be one of the only Gryffindors who actually knows where the library is. " Tinsley finished, with a mock look of pride on her face.

Usually, it took her years to be this comfortable with someone. At this point, it was almost impossible to connect with someone like Jonathan. But that, of course, took years of bonding. But at least it paid off toward the end, looking back. As far as Tinsley's memory could go, they rarely ever had a fight- if at all. Arguing, not the playful teasing, with Jonathan just felt...odd. As if she would be shouting an innocent puppy for wagging it's tail.

" Maybe he'll end up surprising you. People do have a tendacy to do that, you know. " Tinsley continued, nudging him playfully with her foot. Despite the fact that she refuses to take her own advice, Tinsley was determined to have Jonathan go in battle with this stranger with a smile. But Tinsley really couldn't blame him if he thought of the negatives first. In a relationship, it always seems as if there would more horrors than delights. But then again, what did she know about a romantic relationship? Aside from the reluctant and rather forced blind dates, Tinsley strayed away from any signs of one.

Tinsley knew herself this much to know that she's never been in love. Never experienced the swooping feeling. It was hard to tell who had it worse. Jonathan, on the other hand, has experienced plently of love, the wonderful thing that is. While he lived in a short moment of bliss, it came to a painful end. Tinsley was the exact opposite. Still, she can't really complain. Getting a broken heart is something that she could never wish upon someone else, much less herself.

Without really meaning to, Tinsley laughed at his last comment. The image of her really dating someone was just plain old ridiculous. Tinsley holding hands with said person. Tinsley going on dates with said person. It brought out a giggle from her. Most people would say that the soul-mate for Tinsley would be someone like her. Unfortunately for them, and quite fortunately for her [ for it brought the end to said blind dates ], no one is truly like Tinsley. The other option, of course, would be to find someone who is opposite of her. But that would be equal to...well, Tinsley really has no idea. The thought, however, was too laughable for anyone to actually consider it.

" Thank you for the input, but I think we both know the chances of me dating " Tinsley had to struggle not to laugh at this point " are quite slim at this point. "

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • 1097
T A G G E D • lucy [ jonathan ]
O U T F I T •
L Y R I C S • T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • FINISHED !

[jonathanhardcastle]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
LEAVEMYDOOROPENJUSTACRACK
((T A K E M E A W A Y F R O M H E R E))

[/i][/color][/size]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[/font][/center]

Love was complicated, there was no way around it. And there were also many different kinds of love which just made the puzzle even more complicated. The most frustrating part was that every single kind of love held it's own individual frustrations. For one, familial love came with all sorts of problems. This was clearly depicted by his relationship with Alyson. While he wanted the best for her, he also had the undeniable need to try and keep her from living her life because he didn't want her to get hurt. But shouldn't someone who loves his sister want her to experience life for herself? Or was he showing his brotherly love in the appropriate way? It was difficult to know what the right thing to do was.

Then there was a friendship sort of love; like what he felt for Sophia and Tinsley. While his friendship with either one of them was generally as uncomplicated as it could get, he still got confused over their relationships from time to time. Such as now with Tinsley. What was the right thing to do with this situation with her brother? Was he supposed to try and get her past it or was he supposed to be there for her to remember what had happened? It would be hypocritical for him to tell her to move past it. She'd been there for him for over a year for what had happened between him and Roxanne and that sort of trauma definitely didn't match what Tinsley had gone through.

And then there was the romantic love. Obviously this was the one which he found most confusing. Prior to Roxanne cheating on him the second time, he knew he was in love with her. She had been the epitome of perfection to him. It was because of this love for her that he gave her a second chance and now wished he'd just given up after the first time. But hindsight is always 20/20. There were many times that he wished everyone had a puzzle piece they carried with them. And the person that he was supposed to be with would match his piece perfectly and thing would just end up happily ever after. Of course it wasn't a realistic wish but that didn't stop him from wishing for it.

But love was kind of unrealistic. It was an abstract notion which made people do ridiculous things. Sometimes it made people a better person and sometimes it just drove them insane. Jonathan often wondered why love always held such an appeal, from a distance it was a beautiful thing. But up close, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. But even as he thought that, pictures of fairy tale endings were flashing in his mind. Love just didn't make any sense. And for someone who loved rationality and figuring things out, that was incredibly frustrating.

But friendships didn't have to be complicated most of the time. Just laughing with Tinsley felt as easy as it could get. Their friendship had always been effortless. Of course, like all relationships, they'd had arguments but thankfully they had been few and far between. What did they really have to fight about anyways? It was also really difficult to stay mad at someone like Tinsley. She was a kind and loving person, she was one of his best friends. It was impossible to stay mad at her.

The pouty smirk was characteristic of Tinsley. She was one of those people who embraced their inner child. It was one of the many things he liked about her. Jonathan had to stifle his laughter at her words. "Seriously. I was surprised to see you in here and with books no less. It was really shocking. Were you actually reading them?" he asked teasingly. It really wasn't odd to see her with books and Potions books at that. She had always been fond of the subject, given that it was something she easily excelled in. She was the only person he'd ever gone to for help in the subject, given that he was pretty talented at it as well.

But the times when he'd come to her for help seemed like forever ago. He couldn't even really remember how he and Tinsley had begun their friendship. Was it bonding over their mutual love for potions? Or had it been something else? Whatever the reason for their friendship was, he was glad to have it. He would have been lost without her during the past five or six years of his life. She was always there to give him advice, to see him through his darker stages, to make him laugh when he thought it was impossible to smile and so on. She and Sophia were the two people outside of his family that he couldn't imagine life without.

Jonathan nudged his foot against hers. "People certainly do have a tendency to do that. But surprises aren't always good you know," he retorted. It was always ironically humorous to listen to the advice Tinsley and he gave one another. They generally were horribly hypocritical. He may advise her against something even though he knew he'd do the same and vice-versa. But that was life, wasn't it? It was much easier to see the mistakes of someone else than your own. It was also easy to see how Alyson's relationship could potentially end in heartbreak but he'd never foreseen that for himself. He hadn't understood how much of a gamble being in a relationship was until he'd lost the tricky game of love.

As he looked at Tinsley, he wondered who was better off in that department. Though he'd loved and lost, he still had experienced love. Tinsley on the other hand had never loved and remained unhurt by it. But was love worth the pain? Was it better to hurt after experiencing something wonderful or was it better to be numb? There were many times where he had wished to forget the whole thing with Roxanne had ever happened but there had never been a time where he had wished he'd never dated her. When things had been good between them, they had been really good. It was only the bad times that left a sour taste in his mouth.

He knew she'd laugh at his comment. She'd always laughed at the idea of her dating anyone. He didn't really see the humor in it but he knew her well enough to know she found the whole idea just hilarious. He rolled his eyes at her comment. "You always laugh when I say things like that. I don't know why you think the idea of you dating is really ridiculous. Have you honestly never wanted to date someone?" he asked with obvious curiosity.



Comments││
Lyrics││ Fireflies by Owl City
Word Count││ 1124
Status││ finished
Credit││ Goes to caitlin_express@CAUTION 2.0<3

[tinsley]

I SWEAR I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU
(• W H Y D I D Y O U L E T M E •)

To her, love is a wonderful yet horrible thing. The beauty of it will touch your heart, making you lighter than air. But this, of course, was purely from a young girl's daydreams about her nonexistant Prince Charmings. To Tinsley, love is innocent. It is sweet and it will linger to you. When you find the love of your life, you're supposed to live happily ever after. From the hardest parts of life to the most wonderful moments- he, or she, will be there. Because there's no one else on Earth you'd rather be with.

That was precisely Tinsley's idea of love.

And, of course, the exact reason why she is so scared of it. She could only imagine what it would feel like, to have love ripped straight out of your hands. Tinsley was just one of those fools who believed in love so much, they believe in honesty, forever, and everything else that came along with it. She never imagined what it'd be like to lose that, to be left in the dust. But Tinsley couldn't make herself fall in love, not at all. She has never experienced the swooping feeling of love at first sight, something else that she believes in.

It wasn't that Tinsley is incapable of love- far from it. From her point of view, loving too much was one of her issues. But this wasn't the romantic type of love, something that she is still pure too. She loved her friends and family so much, she can't seem to shut it off. When Brenan died, she hadn't been able to let go. Simply because she loved it. And it killed her, no pun intended, that she didn't express that enough.

There was too many people that she loved, but none that she could describe as a romantic feeling. Her parents, she was willing to try to be perfect for. She strayed from anything that might alter the course that had been there since the beginning of time. Her siblings, despite their differences, she would die for. Even Dei, in spite of her previous actions.

Tinsley couldn't even begin to imagine losing Jonathan's friendship. It would leave her virtually blind, stumbling in the dark. She knew that she could be challenging, despite her easy-going attitude. At the beginning of their friendship, Tinsley had wondered why he would stick around for so long. Why he was willing to stay up at night, listening to her babble on about pointless things. Especially now, comforting her about her brother, when he could be doing something much more exciting. Tinsley couldn't even put a value on it- it's priceless.

In her conclusion, she must assume that there is a part of him that loves her too, in the sense that she's talking about. Otherwise, why would he stay around? In the terms of any other girl, Tinsley would just assume that they want something- the most obvious reason of all. But surely, they wouldn't stay around for a rough estimate of fourteen years. Perhaps even longer- who knows?

Tinsley rolled her eyes playfully at his words. " Oh, goodness no. I just like looking at the pictures. " Tinsley replied, in a mock tone of obviousness. As for schoolwork, Tinsley wasn't exactly what you'd call a natural at. She was smart enough to get along pretty well without the help of others, but she chose to do better. Good enough is never enough. But potions was just something she felt good at. It was simple, really. If you put all the pieces together correctly, you get something. If something is missing, just the smallest thing, the liquid could blow up in your face. Tinsley had asked Jonathan for help a couple of times, despite the fact that she should know more. But then again, he was probably ahead of her in the terms of schoolwork.

There are several different possibilites of when and how they met. For all she knew, it could've been at one of her parent's dinner parties. Tinsley, all dressed up from head to toe, would be in one of those ridiculous floor-length dresses, would shyly walk around and then get warmed up as the night continues. Or from a connection of a family friend. But she could remember the times when she would read lovely fairytales at night, and needed someone to talk to after that- her head in the clouds. But that was long ago, it felt like it never existed.

Jonathan can be as cynical as he pleases, but Tinsley knew him better than that. And vice versa, seeing that they rarely allowed each other to be nothing else than what they are. If she should ever get uncertain about what to do, he always seems to have advice. After all, they said that a loyal friend knows you better than you know yourself. And, of course, after the incident with Roxanne- Tinsley was already there, ready to patch up his broken heart. Or at least, attempt to. She honestly didn't care about the late nights, she just wanted Jonathan to smile again. It was a child's attempt at drawing laughter from a war-filled grandfather.

" Careful. If you keep talking like that, I just might have to throw you a surprise party. " Tinsley teased, completely ignoring the fact that if she should really do so, she had just ruined the surprise.

Tinsley had to ponder carefully at his next question. It was something she had been asking herself too. For most girls, they would groan at the thought of explaining this to a male. But unlike them, Tinsley always found that talking to Jonathan is easier than talking to them.

Why didn't she date something? People have urged her to, but clearly they didn't know her. " I guess...it's pointless to date someone you know you'll never love, right? " Tinsley started, uncertaintly growing her voice. " When you fall in love with someone, you're suppose to know that this is the person you want. Even if you deny that you feel anything for them, you can't deny the fact that you want to be with them. " For a moment, Tinsley's face glowed at the prospect of falling love. A half-formed smile appeared on her face, unknowingly.

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • 1045
T A G G E D • lucy [ jonathan ]
O U T F I T •
L Y R I C S • T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S •FINISHED !

[jonathanhardcastle]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
LEAVEMYDOOROPENJUSTACRACK
((T A K E M E A W A Y F R O M H E R E))

[/i][/color][/size]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[/font][/center]

Sometimes it was difficult for Jonathan to look back on his former self, back when he had been just as idealistic about love as an eight year old girl. His parents, namely his mother, had always read fairy tales to him and Alyson. The constants stories about happily-ever-afters were enough to brainwash Jonathan into believing that was always how true love ended. Aside from the fairy tales, he had his own parents to look at who were living their own happily-ever-after. It made a once abstract ideal much more concrete and plausible. Sometimes, he still thought that sort of ending was possible but was in the very distant future.

Because, for now anyways, love was a distant idea and one which he had no real desire of grasping any time soon. It had been far too recent that he had loved and lost. Sometimes he wondered if the cliche was true. You know, the whole 'it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.' If his relationship with Roxanne was going to be his only encounter with falling in love, then he believed that it was better to have loved and lost rather than to have never been in love. But hopefully that wouldn't be the case.

There were many times that he wished he could just mute his own thoughts.

Jonathan's mind was always running. This was the primary reason for his insomnia; he had no idea how to turn his brain off. While the other boys in his dormitory would be sleeping soundly in the beds around him, he was normally found just staring at the ceiling desperately wishing for sleep but that was the main time when his mind wandered to darker thoughts. And it wasn't always just the few painful memories which lingered despite how wonderful he felt about most aspects of his life.

Of course there were times when he thought of Roxanne and everything that had happened between them. For some reason though, it's always easier to remember the bad times over the good and that was a challenge he faced on an almost daily basis. But he also thought of other things. For instance, what happened when you died? Or was he as good of a person as he liked to believe he was? Jonathan was hardly egotistical, far from it actually, but all in all he liked to believe that he was an innately good person. But sometimes he had his doubts. For instance, his over protectiveness over his sister or his inability to forgive Roxanne for what had happened.

Thankfully, the darkness that plagued his nights were sometimes broken by the beams of light given from happier thoughts. He had more things to be thankful for than anything. Such as his relationship with the girl sitting across from him. She had always been there for him through everything. She knew exactly who he was and who he wanted to be and she actually liked him for who he was. She had never tried to change him and in fact didn't allow him to be anything but himself. What more could he ask for?

He could remember at one point thinking that he had felt something more for her than friendship. This had been long ago though, back when they had just been a couple of kids. He'd never mentioned this to her, finding it easier to leave those feelings in the past. There was no sense in making their relationship weird because of that. And as silly as it sounded, he could have sworn that she had felt the same way once upon a time. That was obviously impossible though, Tinsley had told him many times that she'd never had those sort of feelings for anyone.

Jonathan couldn't help but laugh at her comment. "Good. I thought you were about to try and challenge us Ravenclaws by actually reading them," he teased. It was an obvious joke as Tinsley wasn't exactly someone whom could be labeled as an underachiever. She constantly strove for perfection, that was just the kind of person she was. Jonathan was an overachiever as well so he could easily understand that part of her personality.

Despite their many similarities, they definitely had their fair share of differences. Back when they were younger, those differences weren't as evident. Jonathan could easily remember all of their late night talks, back when they were kids, and it seemed like a different lifetime. But childhood seemed like a lifetime ago even if he was only sixteen. It was only when looking back at his childhood that he was able to see things through rose-colored glasses. Everything back then had been much more simple, more easygoing, more carefree. Jonathan was a very nostalgic sort of person.

Tinsley had always been there to help him when his pessimism sometimes got the better of him. She kept the cynical part of his personality to a minimum and that was a difficult task which could only be performed by a friend who knew him as well as Tinsley did. She had just always been good at making him smile, it was one of her many talents.

He laughed shortly, "You wouldn't do that to me. You know how much I hate surprise parties." His mother had once thrown him one for his birthday and it just hadn't gone well. He really didn't like surprises, good or bad. He knew that was a little odd, he should probably like the good ones but he wasn't really used to being caught off guard and when it did happen, it just made him upset.

He could tell from the look on her face that she wasn't against the idea of dating. She just had her own expectations, which were rather high in his opinion. "Sometimes it doesn't work out that way. Sometimes you start dating someone and it isn't until later that you realize how much they mean to you. Love isn't always something that just happens immediately. It can't always be a love at first sight sort of thing," he replied, trying to make something as illogical as love seem rational. He had never really believed in the whole love at first sight thing; that wasn't love, that was lust. Love took time to build and needed foundations of either friendship or trust before it could have the chance to exist.



Comments││
Lyrics││ Fireflies by Owl City
Word Count││ 1059
Status││ finished
Credit││ Goes to caitlin_express@CAUTION 2.0<3

[tinsley]

I SWEAR I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU
(• W H Y D I D Y O U L E T M E •)

Why Jonathan thought so high of her, Tinsley will never know.

He's a lot braver than she is, despite her house. Tinsley could never imagine herself taking a risk with love, losing everything that she's ever worked for. Respect, trust, and of course- acceptance. Love was simply a weakness, Tinsley told herself over the course of many years. It was designed to make her fail, to break her heart. And in return, Tinsley had trained herself to turn off those feelings. Any signs, not there had been many, of affection must be destroyed. They had to be pushed away. Whenever she allowed herself to be drawn into one of her friend's blind dates, once again- moment of weakness, Tinsley would immediately put up her walls. Sure, she'd smile and try to be nice- but they usually got the message right away. She wasn't interested, not in the slightest sense.

A couple of times, they might've said something interesting. Tinsley would be caught off guard for a moment or two, before returning back to the safety of her mask. Simple as that. After a while, Tinsley just stopped listening and started to compare 'them' together. They were all the same, after all. It was like repeating a dull day over and over again. There were two types, as far as Tinsley was concerned. Type one- conceited men who believed that their high knowledge of Quidditch was going to win her over. Type two- they were the certain ones, the ones who believed that she was going to fall in love with them, despite the stumbles and stutters. In all honesty, Tinsley wasn't sure which was worse. But still, it's better to give off a sense of disinterest before she breaks their heart. Or worse, hers.

But doesn't that make her sound vain?

In her heart of hearts, Tinsley knew that she had never been in love before. The closest she had ever felt toward another person had been Jonathan. Life was just ironic that way. But even so, Tinsley didn't get the butterflies in the stomach feeling. More like a fuzzy warm sensation, as if she was being wrapped up in a blanket. Luckily, Tinsley knew herself all too well. Jonathan was her safe house, the one that she couldn't lose no matter what. If she would ever tell him about those past feelings, it would be like taking a wrecker to the house. Everything would be lost. So it was obviously better to keep them to herself. Besides, she hadn't thought of them in ages.

Once upon a time, Tinsley had dreamt of finding that perfect person. The person who would make her feel...awake. She never expected him to be perfect, but someone who she couldn't deny. That's part of the reason why she refused to date. Everytime someone would bring that up, Tinsley would get a little flutter of nervousness in her stomach. Maybe he'll be the one. That thought had crossed her head so many times during her first five years at Hogwarts. But soon enough, it wasn't clear that whoever she had been with at the time wasn't him. So after a while, that stubborn little hiss of a thought went away.

Tinsley is usually a bright person, a hopeful person. But after seventeen years, maybe it was time to admit defeat. A pang of sorrow went through her everytime she would consider it. She couldn't lie, a part of her wanted to be loved. But the majority of her was also afraid. Unlike Dei, despite her fierce personality, she had no idea how to be a good girlfriend. She didn't know how to love someone in that sense, and quite honesty- she wasn't even sure she had the mental strength to handle it. To perhaps shutting herself away from that destined mess might be the best idea she's ever had. As long as she keeps telling herself that, she might actually believe it. One can only hope.

" Maybe I'll surprise you one day by reading a page or two. You know, after I finish battling some dragons and whatnot. " Tinsley smiled, an amused look flashing over her face. She was never much of a Gryffindor. She wasn't afraid of every little thing, of course. But she never thought that she had much courage to face anything her parent's did. She wasn't capable of handling death and sorrow. That much was already clear.

If it wasn't for Jonathan, Tinsley would've been far worse off. She has always been a little bit too...unrealistic. She believed in the impossible, but only with certain things. When she was a child, far younger than this, she was filled with crazy ideas. Somehow, Jonathan managed to bring her back down to Earth while Tinsley attempted to lift him in the clouds. They balanced each other out, that was clear. But if there's one thing that Jonathan can do and she can't do it- it was falling in love. Jonathan had been willing to take that chance, meanwhile Tinsley just shudders thinking about it.

" Then you can call this a surprise warning alert. " Tinsley replied with a tiny hint of smugness, but not exactly cruelty. She wasn't rubbing it in his face or intentionally torturing him- but she can be rather stubborn at times.

Tinsley had a clever plan to keep herself out of love. Her expectations are sky-high, that barely any man could consider. Much less actually reach them. She might as well be creating someone up, at this rate. But this was far easier. If no one can reach these expectations, she won't be falling in love sometime too. She was a coward when it comes to her heart, but she'd just have to deal with that. However, at times like this, Tinsley wonders if Jonathan could see through her well crafted mask. Let's just hope not.

But the way he took the conversation surprised her. Friendship? Trust? She never even thought about dating one of her friends. It was so weird, so unfamiliar to her, Tinsley started to backpedal right away. " Jonathan...I can't do that. You know me. " Tinsley was struggling to explain it. She couldn't watch one of her already long-lasting friendships blow up in her face. Burn down into flames. She can't wait around for a relationship to bloom. Tinsley knew herself- insecure when it comes to the heart. Is that what he had meant? You don't know how good something is until you lose it?

Just the thought made her shiver.

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • 1088
T A G G E D • lucy [ jonathan ]
O U T F I T •
L Y R I C S • T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • FINISHED !

[jonathanhardcastle]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
LEAVEMYDOOROPENJUSTACRACK
((T A K E M E A W A Y F R O M H E R E))

[/i][/color][/size]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[/font][/center]

In his younger days, he would have thought that falling in love with someone required no bravery. Because back in those days, the idea of finding someone to love had never been a scary thought. His idealistic view of it had only painted it in lighter tones without any hint of darkness. Having never experienced it for himself prior to Roxanne, he had been able to fall blindly into it. Sadly, he had never once thought of the pain such a beautiful thing could bring. He had been so unlike Tinsley, who seemed almost scared by the very idea of love. Though he couldn't exactly understand why. She'd always had a picture perfect vision of what love was like and whenever he heard her talk about it, it sounded like something she wanted. But for some reason she always seemed to close the door on any opportunity.

He knew that she had gone out on several blind dates before, involuntarily of course. But whenever he asked her about them she never seemed excited. It always sounded like she'd never even given the guy a chance to begin with, as though she had written them off before she even said hello. From what she had told him, it just seemed as though she had very high and unrealistic expectations for whomever she was going to fall in love with. Once upon a time, he would have agreed with her. He would have thought that the first love was always the last love. But that wasn't always the case. And while he had his heart stomped from his first love, he still learned something from it. Also, he wasn't about to give up on love completely because of it, just for a little while. He had more important things to worry about anyways, right? Like school. Next year he probably would have time for little else.

Though he knew that one day he would love again, he also knew that time wasn't going to be anytime soon. His heart just couldn't handle another heartbreak right now. But time healed all wounds or so he had heard. This one just seemed to be taking more time to heal than he had ever expected. Eventually he knew he'd get over it and find someone else or at least he hoped that would happen. Now he had learned that love did take bravery, it was a gamble with your own heart. And that was something which was a difficult thing to gamble with. Which was probably the exact same reason that Tinsley was both scared and fascinated by the idea of love.

Jonathan had never really had a vision of his ideal woman, just someone who he loved and who loved him in return. Of course he had preferences though. He knew he wanted to be with someone who was intelligent, someone who could mentally stimulate him. It needed to be someone he was attracted to on some level, though the girls whom he found pretty never really looked the same. He didn't really have a type when it came to physical appearance. Sometimes he wondered if it would be best for him to end up with someone like himself, reserved and introspective. But then other times he thought that someone who was more extroverted could help him come out of his shell. It was a toss up and he had never been sure which side of the coin was facing up.

Some people thought that the mysteries in life were the beautiful parts of it. Jonathan couldn't agree less. The things in life which had no concrete answers were the most frustrating.

He chuckled. "Of course. I wouldn't want something as minimal as education to get in the way of your dragon slaying. That would be most unfortunate," he retorted, flashing her a quick smile. He had never been one who held too much faith in house stereotypes but they usually made for some pretty good jokes. Ravenclaws had it the easiest in his opinion. The worst thing people generally called him was a bookworm or a nerd, both which he admitted to being quite freely. Obviously, Slytherins generally had the shorter end of the stick. Sometimes they deserved it, sometimes they didn't.

Tinsley and Jonathan had always been capable of balancing each other. Jonathan had never been a dreamer, his realistic mindset didn't generally allow for such foolish things. While Tinsley, especially back in her younger days, had always had her head up in the clouds, her mind constantly whirling with impossible ideas. She was able to help him dream while he was able to bring her back down to earth. And somehow they managed to do this without insulting one another. Which Jonathan believed was a feat in itself. Tinsley would always be there to deal him tough love when he really needed it but thankfully it was something he'd never been insulted by. He needed someone around who gave it to him straight.

"It isn't really a surprise if you tell me what's about to happen so you might as well just call the whole thing off," he replied logically, trying to get her to agree with him. He knew that she could be stubborn though, stubborn as an ox at times. He just prayed this wasn't one of those times.

"It was just an idea, don't freak out about it or anything. I was just saying that Prince Charming doesn't always visibly ride in on a white horse. Sometimes it's not that obvious. And while you're looking over the horizon for your ideal guy, you might miss someone else who is perfect for you in the process," he replied, hoping that he was getting his point across without sounding rude or as if he was trying to push her into anything. He knew he couldn't be the only person who had pointed this out to her. But it didn't stop him from reiterating the idea.



Comments││
Lyrics││ Fireflies by Owl City
Word Count││ 988
Status││ finished
Credit││ Goes to caitlin_express@CAUTION 2.0<3

[tinsley]

I SWEAR I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU
(• W H Y D I D Y O U L E T M E •)

Tinsley wasn't a questioner. She didn't fight the natural forces of the world. Even after the most ridiculous theories, Tinsley never really stopped to think about it. Per usual, the term 'it's possible' is something that comes to mind. She wasn't a fighter, despite her family name and background. Even though her parents strongly opposes Slytherins in general, mostly her father on this part, Tinsley never questioned it. She did what she was told, she acted the way any daughter would've. She would dutifully do any task that would make her sister shudder and her brothers cring. Isn't that what she was suppose to do?


If anything, Tinsley hated to cause a mess or a fuss. Even though the tasks could be boring and dull, it was always inside her little bubble. Her limits were never exactly pushed to the limits or anything. In general, Tinsley followed the path that was obvious and supposedly suited for her. Never once did she actually consider going against it. It was ridiculous. Of course, she's thought about making things up as she go along. But something would pull her back into the real world. For one thing, her parent's would be heartbroken. Tinsley wasn't a rebel. Just the thought was laughable.


And as for the future; Tinsley only had one thing in mind at the moment. As of recent events, she wasn't exactly looking forward to the future. The University is most obvious place for her to go. When she was younger, she would get crazy little fantasies of traveling around the world. The best education, as she had decided back then, was the ones that you could experience yourself. She had shared this with Jonathan, of course. But as years went on, the dream started looking harder and more complicated then she had planned. Within time, around her fourth year or so, she had given up on that dream.


She used to think that love just...happens. That everybody would meet their soul mate in time. The idea of heart-breaks and horrors never even occured to her. Everybody would fall in love and stay in love, wouldn't they? They wouldn't even dream about falling for someone else. At least, that was what the younger Tinsley had in mind. If anything, Tinsley wanted to go back in time and slap her younger self for getting her hopes up.


For a moment or two, Tinsley wondered what else her younger self had in mind. A shining white castle? For all the pain in the world to go away? Did Tinsley think that she could save the world with a smile and a wave? A lot of good that did her. It always amused her when someone says that she's as uncomplicated as any female could get. They usually end up regretting it later. Despite first reactions, Tinsley is like a coin. On each side, there's someone else. While she's happy, she always worry that something could come along and hurt her. While she's hurt, she doesn't wanted to be comforted- she just wanted the pain to stop. When she hates someone, she secretly wishes that she could love them too.

Right. Uncomplicated.

Even she had to pity the person she drags down with her. It wasn't that Tinsley prides herself in being difficult, but as in the precise reason why getting close to people have always been a challenge for her. She likes sharing good news, but she kept the bad news to herself. Once a while, Tinsley could recall herself begging to God, for just an answer sheet to everything. Life would be so much easier if everybody knew what they were supposed to do. But most unfortunately, it seemed as though it wasn't going to be that easy.

Instead of wasting time pondering over what she wanted to do, what she should do, and what she didn't want to do- she always went along with the second choice. At least, that way, she knew that she'd be doing something right.

" See, I don't see why people say that Ravenclaws don't have a sense of humour. You should write a book, " Tinsley mused in a child-like way. Most of the time, during her short little out-loud ponderings, the words don't even make sense. At least, except to her. People tend to judge the cover, despite their will not to. Was it just human natural, or did it depend on the person?

For a moment, Tinsley wondered what people thought of her. Most of the time, she really didn't care. She wasn't an easy person to pressure, but she supposed that if you push the right buttons- you might get a reaction out of her. Tinsley never thought that she was an easy person to label, with that coin flip of hers. But right now, without surprise, all she could do is just to...keep on doing whatever she had been doing before. Whatever that was.


" Yes, but what if that was just a distraction? That way, you would think it's already out of the way before I really surprise you. " Tinsley laughed, not really caring that she was going against everything that she had just said. Not only did it make little sense, every word reeked of Tinsley. Only she would be comfortable saying something so utterly ridiculous like that. Or at least, from the people that she did know.


Tinsley fought hard to keep a smile off her face. He was fighting a lost cause, something that Tinsley had given up a long time ago. Still, she couldn't blame him for trying. Without thinking about her words, Tinsley just spoke. " Maybe some people aren't meant to fall in love. Maybe I'm just one of those people. Less distractions, less weaknesses. No heartbreaks. " She hadn't meant to say all her fears out loud, but it just came out.

How did that happen?

But not only did she sound like a complete hypocrite, she sounded like a moaning poet. " I mean, what are the chances of falling in love with the right person in the first place? It's probably not just going to happen, no matter which way I look. " Tinsley shrugged, as if to admit defeat. In a way, her brain had already stopped looking. Now it was just waiting impatiently for her stubborn heart to follow it's lead.

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • 1056
T A G G E D • lucy [ jonathan ]
O U T F I T •
L Y R I C S • T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • FINISHED !

[jonathanhardcastle]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
LEAVEMYDOOROPENJUSTACRACK
((T A K E M E A W A Y F R O M H E R E))

[/i][/color][/size]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[/font][/center]

Jonathan always had a thousand questions up his sleeve. He seemed to be on a different brainwave than most people, especially Alyson. For instance, say the two of them saw a car driving down the road. His sister's mind would immediately jump into an association sort of thought process. She would see a car and would maybe think of someone who owned that particular car and then would think of something they had done together recently and so on and so forth. Jonathan's mind just didn't work like that. He couldn't move on from subject to subject so effortlessly. His brain always seemed to get stuck; unable to switch his train of thought like his sister. If he saw a car on the road, his mind would immediately jump to something the car reminded him of. He would sit there and wonder what kind of person drove that car, whether they liked it or wished they had gotten a different model, what kind of stuff they had in the glove compartment, if they had gotten it when it was new or had bought it used and these sorts of questions were endless. It was also frustrating since he wouldn't be able to answer most of those questions.

That had always been one of Alyson's favorite games. Jonathan would think up ridiculous questions, ones which he would never be able to answer with complete confidence, and she would attempt to answer them. Her creativity would splash out of her, giving ludicrous answers which usually ended up being rather humorous. She seemed to have fun coming up with other peoples' life stories. Jonathan was creative as well but not in the same way as his sister. He wasn't exactly imaginative, he had a difficult time grasping things which weren't necessarily realistic. His creativity came out primarily in his writing, and not his school essays mind you. To his closet friends it was a well known fact that he wrote in his journal every evening. It wasn't necessarily about feelings and those sort of stereotypical things one might expect to find in a journal, it was mainly composed of thoughts he'd had that day, things he'd witnessed, or just a description of some piece of beautiful scenery he had seen that day. He had started keeping a journal at a young age. His father had given him a gorgeous leather bound journal for his birthday one year and Jonathan hadn't dropped the habit of writing in one since then. He had several journals in his collection at this point. Some of his friends, including his family members, had asked to read what he had written but he was always too embarrassed to show them. He knew he had a talent for writing essays for school, his grades were evidence for that, but he wasn't nearly as confident in his freestyle writing. Also, it wasn't exactly masculine to keep a daily journal; not masculine at all.

It was frightening to think about the future, even if he did feel like he had things mapped out for himself. Of course he would go to the University and become a Healer, he was well on his way. But there was something about the future which gave him a foreboding sort of feeling. Maybe it was the thought that he would never walk through the halls of Hogwarts again, at least not as a student. Or maybe it was the fact that there would be some people whom he would probably never speak to again. Or maybe it was just the idea of getting older, the idea of not knowing what was coming that scared him the most. Most people were surprised to hear that he didn't enjoy thinking about the future, mainly because he was the planning sort of guy. But those who knew him best, like Tinsley and Sophia, knew that the prospect of the future was something which scared the shit out of him. It wasn't that he was scared of anything career wise but more of the whole getting a family sort of thing. Most guys didn't desire to have a family as much as Jonathan but he wanted that even more than he wanted to become a Healer. But he didn't like to tell people that. It just sounded creepy, especially coming from a guy.

Jonathan feigned a look of hurt, "People say we don't have a sense of humor? That's just hurtful," he replied jokingly. He knew that Ravenclaws were hardly known for their sense of humor. Heck, he didn't really think he had all that good of one. Most of his jokes were just corny...and he knew it. Jokes had never really been his forte but that hadn't really stopped him from making them. It was ironic that she mentioned him writing a book as that had been one of his more secret ambitions. Though it wasn't all that realistic given the fact that he was too embarrassed to even let people read his journal much less an entire book. But it was still an idea he had always toyed with at the back of his mind.

It was always strange to try and see how other people viewed you. How did people see him? He imagined that they just saw him as a bookworm, a nerd. Someone who tried hard in class and spent most of his time in the library. And all of that was true. But did any other aspects of his personality shine through? He doubted it. He didn't really show all that much personality around strangers. That sort of inhibition came with his social anxiety.

Jonathan laughed at her comment. "If you're trying to surprise me, you need to stop giving me all of your secrets or I'm going to figure it out," he replied, still laughing softly. Tinsley had always been like that. She sometimes just said things that didn't really make sense but for some reason it was incredibly endearing. She was child-like in that way. That was one of the things which Jonathan had always been jealous of when it came to her. She still seemed to have a firm grasp on her inner child and that was something he feared he had lost long ago. His mother had always told him he was an old soul trapped in a young body. He'd never been able to decide if that was a good or bad thing.

No heartbreaks. That idea sounded tempting but not tempting enough to never give love another chance. Besides, what kind of people never fell in love? Even the most heartless of people fell in love at some point in their life; they were just sometimes too blind to see it. "That just sounds like you're quitting before you even try. You're not a quitter. I think that everybody falls in love at some point, even the people who are desperately trying to run away from it," he replied, a coy smile playing on his lips.

He couldn't help but shake his head slightly at her comment. "You can't go into things with that pessimistic of an attitude. Alright, so it's unlikely that the first person you date will be the one you end up with. But aren't you the one who always told me that experience is that best form of education? Don't knock it 'til you try it," he commented, trying to keep his tone light and playful despite his deep feelings about the conversation topic.



Comments││
Lyrics││ Fireflies by Owl City
Word Count││ 1243
Status││ finished
Credit││ Goes to caitlin_express@CAUTION 2.0<3

[tinsley]

I SWEAR I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU
(• INEVERMEANTTOLOVEYOU•)

For the first time in a while, Tinsley felt like she could breath. Really breath. Everything that she had been holding onto seemed lighter now, if not completely gone. She could handle that, couldn't she? Dear Heavens- Jonathan should be a therapist. They really did balance each other out, didn't they? At least, he could understand the siblings issue that she has. While she loved Tally, she could never really be on the same page as her. Tally was loud and beyond anything, a leader. Tinsley was just the little kid that you take pictures of. When she has conversations with her siblings, she just smiled and went along with whatever they said. Easy said, easy done. After all, Tinsley was never much of a fuss maker.

When she was younger, Tinsley knew that she had been more fun. Now as she's growing people, people tend to...well, they treat her differently. The Professors don't know what to make of her. Her grades are good, ignoring recent ones, and she has never gotten into trouble before. Did they notice something off about her? Clearly, she lacked a future. Before this, Tinsley didn't have anything planned out. Now that she thinks about it- what did she want to do with her life?

But when she was younger, Tinsley was always bursting with laughter. Actually, that would've been her prior to the incident. She was always smiling, the little happy-go-lucky child. When she was three, she would run around the kitchen, pretending to be whatever she felt like. When she was five, she would drag Jonathan outside in the pouring rain. When she was eight, she would stand on her father's feet and dance the waltz.

Why couldn't be that person again? All Tinsley wanted was to go back to those happy times. Everything had felt much better than. All in all, she hated this new her. The one that's worrying about everything, the dark cave that she had pushed herself into. Maybe she had it coming for her, trying to be someone she's not- perfect. Whatever the reason was, Tinsley wanted to fix it and move on with her life.

She smiled at Jonathan's remark, just like she always did. It wasn't because she was trying to be nice, but because she really did think he was funny. He didn't he was funny, of course. Men. They were completely and utterly helpless. But if anything, Jonathan was probably her favorite male that she knew of. Only one or two stuck in her mind. Some of whom she'd rather not think about right, for the fear of losing her sanity. Or what's left of it, anyways.

" Just because they haven't met the hilarious Jonathan Hardcastle yet. " Tinsley laughed. Once her brother told her that if she would just laugh more, she could get married whenever she wanted to. To this day, she's still not sure if that had been an insult or not. She had her mother's laugh, though. Almost. Oliver always said that Tinsley sounded like a giggling three year old, while her mother sounded much more like a five year old. Thanks, Dad. But she supposed that it fit her.

At his next comment, she shrugged. She knew that she was crazy. But Tinsley just kind of ignored it. " Yes, but it's too much fun not to tell you. " Yup. Definitely crazy.

Her cowardly inner self told her not to listen to him. Ignore the temptation...and die alone? Did Tinsley want to fall in love? Did she want to feel love? Did she want to love somebody back? This is precisely the reason why she avoids thinking about it. Because the answer is yes. If she dwelled on it long enough, it would start to hurt. What started out as a yearning would end up being a need. And she'd have to suffer through it until something else takes her mind off of it. Hooray.

Now the old feeling was back. Tinsley wanted to find him. Badly, now. But it hurt too much to think about it all the time. His next comment took her by surprise. " I'm a fighter? " Tinsley questioned, raising an eyebrow. First time anybody's called her that. Maybe he was confusing her for somebody else.


Stupid convincing ravenclaws.

Shaking her head, Tinsley couldn't help but reply back. " Alright, alright. I'll try. And if I do find somebody, I'll will admit that you're right. "

But, being her, she had something else to add to. " But you have to promise me that you'll be nice to him. " After she's seen his reaction to his sister dating, this was probably a good idea.

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • 1097
T A G G E D • lucy [ jonathan ]
O U T F I T •
L Y R I C S • T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • FINISHED ! Wow. This sucked. x3

[jonathanhardcastle]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
LEAVEMYDOOROPENJUSTACRACK
((T A K E M E A W A Y F R O M H E R E))

[/i][/color][/size]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[/font][/center]

Jonathan had always wondered if had really experienced his childhood to the fullest. It was the one time in your life, other than possibly very old age, that social norms and expectations weren't all that important. It was a time when it was perfectly acceptable to have whimsical desires, absurd dreams, and a lucid imagination. But he had never really had any of those things when he was younger, of course aside from his unrealistic view on love. But on other things, when most children were running around pretending to be valiant knights or dragon-slayers, he had always been perfectly stuck in reality. Was that a good or bad thing? Sometimes he felt as though he had missed out on some essential part of life and other times he figured he just skipped an unnecessary step. His mother had always accused him of being an old soul trapped in a young body. He was never really sure what that meant. He didn't think he was vastly more mature than those around him, he just simply had a different mindset. They cared about sports, he cared about literature. But one's interests didn't have all that much to do with maturity, did it? His mother was a sports fanatic, obviously or she wouldn't be working for the Department of Magical Games and Sports, and there wasn't an immature bone in the woman's body.

Tinsley had been just about the only person whom had been able to make him embrace the inner-child he possessed (somewhere deep down). It was just one of the ways in which they were able to balance one another. She was able to drag him away from his father's study and make him come spin around with her in the open fields surrounding his house. Or she would stop him mid-sentence when he was starting to analyze things and point out how pretty a nearby flower was. She was still able to do these things. The fact that she had that childlike characteristic to her was one of the many things which he admired about her. Of course, she could be serious when the situation called for it but she was able to balance work and play, something he had never been able to do well. There was definitely something off about her right now, something that wasn't characteristic of her. But he hardly expected her to be her usual giggly self at a time like this. He couldn't imagine being in her shoes. Losing a sibling? That was a pain that Jonathan couldn't even fathom. Just the thought of something happening to Alyson caused an involuntary shiver to travel down his spinal cord. Tinsley was handling it far better than he would have been able to, at least from what he could see. He didn't think he'd be able to talk to anyone for months. But he had never been good at handling emotional despair.

A half-smile became present on his face after her comment. He rolled his eyes before replying, "Oh yes. Once they meet me their entire opinion on the Ravenclaw house will change drastically," he joked. He was nothing short of the quintessential Ravenclaw, at least in his opinion. He was a bookworm to a tee, cared more about his schoolwork than most, and could normally be found in the library at nearly every hour of the day, even during the early morning hours on the weekend. It didn't get much more cliche than that, now did it?

He laughed at her retort. "Whatever you say, Tinsley. But you know if you actually manage to pull this off, I'm going to have to get you back somehow," he replied, raising his eyebrows in a mischievous manner. It didn't suit him at all, as he wasn't mischievous at all. He'd never actually been able to pull of a prank successfully. It just wasn't in him no matter how hard he tried. When he was younger his sister would always get him with dungbombs and things of that sort but he had never been able to get her back (unless he had outside help).

He hadn't necessarily called her a fighter but there were times when she was one. Was saying that someone wasn't a quitter the same thing as saying that one was a fighter? He could see the logic in that but he wasn't sure if he had meant for the two to be quite so interchangeable. He shrugged his shoulders, "Aw, come on. You act like that's such a foreign concept. You generally don't quit things, at least not from what I've seen. I was just saying that it's not really fair for you to quit before you've even started," he answered, trying to explain himself but feeling as though he was doing a pretty wretched job at doing so.

A smile stretched across her face once she conceded. "You're not just saying that?" he asked, skepticism clear. It wouldn't be the first time she had just agreed with him in order to get him to shut his mouth. She was one of the few people he actually had a rambling problem around. It was more than likely due to the fact that he was so comfortable around her. In attempts to keep her from snapping at his skepticism he added in a teasing tone, "And you know I'm always right." Of course he didn't think that but he figured it would get a laugh out of her.

He laughed heartily at her next comment though immediately stopped when he realized they were still in the library. He didn't want the librarian to come over and tell him to be quiet. She'd never had to do so before and he'd hate to break that streak. "Well, that's going to be dependent on a few things. But I promise as long as he treats you as well as I think you deserve to be treated I will do my best to be nice to him. Fair enough?" He wondered if she knew how high of standards he was going to have for this guy but it seemed as though she had some pretty high standards of her own.



Comments││ your post definitely didn't suck xD
Lyrics││ Fireflies by Owl City
Word Count││ 1027
Status││ finished
Credit││ Goes to caitlin_express@CAUTION 2.0<3

[tinsley]

I SWEAR I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU
(• INEVERMEANTTOLOVEYOU•)

Tinsley hadn't been unhappily back then. Just merely...confused. Yes, confused was the word. She knew what she should be. She knew what people wanted her to be. She knew what they needed for her to be. But somehow, she couldn't figure out what she wanted. Or what she needed, if she was to go any further. There just felt as though there was something missing. Something important. Almost, something that held the key to her happiness. Or maybe she's just going crazy. What she needed was a moral compass. Something that could show her what she truly want.

You'd think a wizard would be nice enough to invent one. As a child, all Tinsley could think about was...well, herself. Maybe it was just one of the things about being a kid and knowing nothing of the world or maybe she was just plain old selfish. She could remember all her daydreams. A dashing knight, especially. Actually, that had probably been the main thing. As a child, she only knew a few males. Tally knew more, but that was to be expected. Oliver Wood would never let her go out with males, even if she was only seven. Somehow, she doubted that the idea of her dating would go over well with him. Or at all.

Jonathan, however, Oliver has no issues about. Strange. But, clearly Tinsley wasn't about to do anything bad with Jonathan. Even Oliver could see that. If anything, he was probably plotting their future marriage. Just the thought made Tinsley want to laugh.

" You know, you're a parent's dream. " Tinsley sighed suddenly, with a hint of amusement. Of course, it would be easy to date Jonathan. However, the idea did not go over well by her. Not because she didn't like him, but because he's just...Jonathan. And of course, there's the thing with Roxanne. Not to mention that he would probably laugh too.

" Of course. And if not, they can answer to me. " Tinsley replied, with a sly little smile. The thought of her scaring anybody is laughable, of course. In fact, she could remember her two old self crying when Katie flushed her fish down the drain. At the time, Tinsley hadn't got that the fish was dead. She kept on insisting that was there was a way to bring you back. Being the two year old, Tinsley had been positive that the fish loved her back too. She vaguely remembered preaching to her mother, something along the lines of 'people don't leave people that they love. '

Clearly, that was no longer true. But that just made Tinsley uncertain. Who would leave her next? Would it be worse or better than her brother? What if it was her fault again? Why would they leave? Would it be on purpose? Would it be her fault for pushing them away? Her brain shook just thinking about it.

She scoffed playfully at his words. " Of course I'm pulling this off. Not that you've challenged me. And please. If there's one person worse than me at getting revenge, it's you. " Actually, that might not be true. Jonathan had been a trainwreck, almost as bad as her, during his breakup with Roxanne. But he probably could've stuck up for himself if the event ever calls for it. Tinsley couldn't even imagine what she would've done.

Was she a fighter? Maybe, but she doubted it. Was she a quitter? That one she had to ponder. Tinsley was ambitious, if anything calls for it. Unfortunately, she had nothing to work for at the moment. Determined, maybe.

She huffed slightly at his voice of tone. Clearly, he lacked faith in her. Although, she did derserve it, she supposed. But still, he brought this upon himself. Raising her hand, Tinsley muttered " Scout's honor. " She rolled her eyes slightly at his next comment, but was unable to hide a smile.

She thought about this for a moment. " You know what? We're going on a date. You, me, and whoever I decide to bring. " Her tone of voice made it clear that there will be no other options.

Uh-oh.

Clearly, she hadn't thought this through. But it was too late to back out now, her brain refused to do so. Good job, Tinsley. Got anymore smart ideas? A voice muttered her in her mind.

Only Jonathan would've been able to find a loophole in that. Of course. However, she knew him well enough. At the very least, the guy would have to be an angel or anything. Which wouldn't exactly apply to anybody at Hogwarts. Instead, she countered. " What exactly is your idea of a ' good guy' ? " Tinsley asked, figuring that she'd better be clear. Shaking her head, Tinsley continued " No, I need more than that. Remember, this was your idea. Even if you hate him, you have to be nice. "

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • 1097
T A G G E D • lucy [ jonathan ]
O U T F I T •
L Y R I C S • T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • FINISHED ! Wow. This sucked. x3

[jonathanhardcastle]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
LEAVEMYDOOROPENJUSTACRACK
((T A K E M E A W A Y F R O M H E R E))

[/i][/color][/size]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[/font][/center]

Jonathan had always believed that he was a rather selfish person. Though he never voiced the opinion aloud, it wasn't a secret that he saw himself in that particular light. He just found himself thinking only about himself at times and wasn't that the definition of selfish? He constantly focused on things like schoolwork, which was only beneficial for himself. Shouldn't he be worried about things which involved other people? Because he was always so hard on himself, he didn't even realize that he was working so hard in order to become a Healer because he in fact wanted to help people. But everyone is their own worst critic, right?

As he looked at Tinsley, he still couldn't believe that she wasn't showing more negative emotions after her brother's death. He was sure that she was feeling them, how could she not be? But she seemed to have perfected the art of wearing the smiling mask which showed no pain or suffering. It was a remarkable talent, one which she had always been good at. He had always been jealous of that ability. When he was in pain, it was obvious. He could generally keep a straight face but for some reason his eyes always seemed to give him away. Maybe it was tied directly to the fact that he was nothing short of a downright horrible liar. While some may see that as a good characteristic, it was awfully annoying sometimes. If he was better at hiding his emotions, it wouldn't be nearly as painful to see Roxanne walking happily down the hallways because she wouldn't be able to see that he was still hurting from the incident - as pathetic as that was. He wasn't sure how to get over her and he couldn't help but wonder if he'd only be able to fully do so until he found someone else. And that could take some time.

Jonathan shot Tinsley a confused look at her comment. "What?" he asked with a small laugh. "Where did that come from?" he asked curiously. He didn't really think he was a parents' dream. Just ask Sophia's father. He still didn't like Jonathan even though he'd been kissing his ass for the last six years. Moms always seemed to like him well enough but normally dads were a different case. He figured they were just protective over their little girls. He knew he would be if he ever had a daughter, just look at how he was with Alyson.

He chuckled. "Oh good. I can have a reference for my humor. I've always wanted one of those," he added with a lopsided smile. He had never really thought of himself as a funny person or at least not in the way most people were humorous. He found that his sense of humor was rather dry while a lot of people had that whole witty, pop culture sort of humor. He didn't know enough about pop culture to formulate jokes with random facts about it inserted in a clever fashion. He knew that he got his sense of humor from his father; they were oddly alike in most ways. While Alyson was almost exactly like his mother. It was pretty evenly divided.

He gave her a look of mock hurt and placed his right hand over his heart, "Ouch, Tins. That hurt a little. But don't worry, I'm already formulating the master plan in my head right now. So go ahead and throw your little "surprise" party," he replied, making the air quotations when he said 'surprise.' "You'll get yours," he added, trying to throw her a dark look but knew he had failed miserably. He really needed to work on looking like he was capable of being intimidating or threatening. But for some reason he just couldn't do it. And Tinsley knew him well enough to know that he was bluffing.

He laughed when she held her hand up and promised him she was actually going to give the whole thing a shot. "Glad we have that settled then," he replied, confidence once again returning to his tone. He knew that she may back out of it eventually but she wasn't a liar. It seemed as though she was really going to give the whole thing a shot. Though now that he thought about it, he couldn't imagine her being with anyone at Hogwarts. Who was good enough for her here? Everyone just seemed, well, beneath her. He raised his eyebrow at her demand. "I don't know about that. You want me to come crash in on your date? I'm sure whoever you bring will not be appreciative that I'm there," he answered her. "I mean, I don't think I'd like it if my first date with someone was also with their male friend. Kind of weird," he added, trying to explain himself. He was about to say it would have been intimidating but he doubted that most people would ever define him as intimidating.

"So even if the guy doesn't treat you well or he's just a jerk, I have to be nice to him? You do realize that's going to be really difficult for me. Just ask Sophia. Her um, well I guess relationship with Scorpius has always been a problem in our friendship. I mean, you've seen how he treats her. So I'm going to have to request the right to dislike him if he turns out to be anything like Scorpius," he argued, knowing that Tinsley would be able to see his side. He'd seen their relationship. It was heartbreaking to watch a sweet girl follow every whim and desire of a complete jerk.

Comments││
Lyrics││ Fireflies by Owl City
Word Count││ 940
Status││ finished
Credit││ Goes to caitlin_express@CAUTION 2.0<3

[tinsley]

I SWEAR I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU
(• INEVERMEANTTOLOVEYOU•)

Tinsley has always wondered about herself. Not in the, will I win the lottery kind of way. But what's going to happen to her next. The future cannot be explained, despite what supposedly seers say. At least, she can't tell her own future. Despite her childhood, Tinsley was trying. She really was. As easy as it is to just give in, Tinsley wanted to do good in the world. As corny as it sounds, Tinsley couldn't imagine otherwise. People says said that good stuff will happen to you back, but that wasn't why Tinsley did it. She wanted forgiveness from the world, for every single selfish thing that she did. She wanted to be repair, to be whole again. A part of knew what a coward she was being. Would it be easier to let someone else repair her? But who on Earth had that kind of power? She desperately wanted to do some pure, honest to goodness, good. And it would erase her past, then so be it.

She didn't care about her siblings enough. She didn't listen to her parents enough. She had ignored the pleas of her friends, to come out after Brenan's death. What kind of person was she? What kind of person was she, to refuse help? To wave away people who were honestly trying to make herself feel better? Because she was stupid enough to think that she was perfectly fine with shutting herself away from the world. When the only thing that she might need is somebody next to her, to see the deep mask that she's buried herself in. But, so far, this is as close as she can get.

Tinsley shrugged. She had no idea where that came from, actually. It just popped in her mind. " I dunno. My father likes you, I guess. He thinks that you're some sort of saint. Which I guess you are. " Tinsley said, completely honest. If anything, he had one of the kindest minds ever. Something that hadn't escaped her father's narrow-minded mind.


She grinned slightly, nudging him with her foot. " What? Your fellow ravenclaws aren't smart enough to see your humour? We might have to speak with the Sorting Hat about that. " Tinsley teased. She knew him well enough to understand his sense of humour. What she didn't get was why he didn't think they were funny.

She giggled slightly at his look, though she was sure that it hadn't been the intention. She couldn't help it though. It looked pretty ridiculous, especially if it was coming from him. She put a hand over her mouth, trying to hide the silent but obvious giggles. " Right. I'll be sleeping with one eye open from now on. "


If she couldn't back, neither could he. She was dead stubborn about this. Her hazel eyes widen, slightly hurt. A look of confusion and puzzlement washed over her face. " B-but ! Please? " Tinsley tried, not entirely sure if it would work. She's always been pathetic at this sort of things.

Tinsley blinked. Uh-oh. " Yes, but. I mean, yes. Yes, you are going to be civil. Because I'm smart enough not to bring someone like Scorpius. " She paused. " Would this be a bad time to mention that he's helping me catch up and stuff? Scorpius, I mean. " Uh-oh. She waited for the bombshell to drop. Still, she could see a plan start to form. A very stupid, very explosive plan. But a plan nevertheless. " However he is, I'm sure you two will get along. You might even become friends. "

That is, if they were both confunded and possibly on drugs. But a girl can dream.

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • 1097
T A G G E D • lucy [ jonathan ]
O U T F I T •
L Y R I C S • T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • FINISHED ! Wow. This sucked. x3

[jonathanhardcastle]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
LEAVEMYDOOROPENJUSTACRACK
((T A K E M E A W A Y F R O M H E R E))

[/i][/color][/size]
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
[/font][/center]

He always felt weird when he sat down and thought about his future. He had everything mapped out: he knew he was going to go to University to become a Healer. He hoped he would settle down soon after and have a family. But he sometimes felt as though he was one of the only people his age who had his future planned out. A lot of people still seemed to be toying around with different ideas, changing their future career plans almost as frequently as they changed robes. His parents had always made sure that his plans were firm, though they never really pushed him into a specific direction. In his younger years, his mother had wanted him to become an all-star Quidditch player but the moment she'd seen him on a broom she quickly stowed that dream away. Thankfully Alyson was a daughter whom his mother could live vicariously through. His father had always thought that Jonathan should work for the newspaper but that just wasn't where Jonathan's passion was. Of course, he enjoyed writing and everything, he just didn't think that it was a very sound career. Maybe in his later years he could write for a medical journal or something of the sort but he could worry about that at some other time. This was Jonathan's problem, he was always thinking about the future in attempts to conquer its mystery but that was the horrible thing about the future, no matter how much you planned for it life would always throw you curve balls. But that still didn't stop him from trying to predict those either. He had never been one to just live, he had to make sure everything was planned. Spontaneity or going with the flow had never been his strong suits. And that was painfully obvious to anyone who knew him in the slightest.

He chuckled lightly at her words. "A saint? Not likely. But your dad probably only likes me because I've always been very good at brown-nosing when it comes to him. He's really nice though. I've always liked your dad," he replied, clasping his hands together. He thought it was really complimentary that she had compared him to a saint, though he knew it wasn't true at all. He was far from saintly. But she had always seemed to think that he was a better person than he actually was though he wasn't sure why that was.

He returned her grin with one of his own. His grins were always rather toothy and just made him look like a goofball. So he tried to do it as little as necessary but something about Tinsley always made him smile. She was just such a lighthearted person. "I guess we owe the Sorting Hat a visit then," he replied, unsure of what else to say. He always got uncomfortable when the subject stayed on him for too long. He hated talking about himself though at least he was more comfortable with it around Tinsley. That sort of comfort just came with many years of friendship.

Of course she would start giggling. He expected nothing less. "Aw, come on. At least pretend that you find my threat intimidating," he whined playfully. But he knew she wouldn't. Hell, he couldn't even take himself seriously and she knew him as well as he knew himself, if not more so. He was glad that she was laughing though, it always made him laugh as well.

When he saw her eyes widen and looking slightly hurt, Jonathan knew that he'd already lost the battle. There was no way that he would be able to say no to her after that look. He sighed, "Alright, fine. But let's not call it a date. Let's just say the three of us could meet up somewhere, you know, make it sound more casual." He had no backbone when it came to her. "But why do you want me to be there so badly?" he asked curiously. Most girls wouldn't want their overprotective male friends to tag along on their first date with someone. But then again, Tinsley wasn't most people.

"Well, I would have thought Sophia was more intelligent than that as well. But you do seem to have really high standards for your guys, so I'll trust you on this one. I will promise to be civil, at least during the date," he replied, trying to make sure that he didn't promise to always be nice to this guy. It would all be dependent on who he was. Jonathan was slightly hurt by her next statement. Why would she go to Scorpius of all people for help with her schoolwork? Why wouldn't she have come to him? "Why would you want his help?" he asked, trying to sound more curious than anything though she would probably be able to see through that. He laughed, "Yeah, I'm sure we'll be best friends by the end of the night," he replied sarcastically. "But I promise that I'll try to like him," he added, not wanting her to get discouraged.

Comments││
Lyrics││ Fireflies by Owl City
Word Count││ 891
Status││ finished
Credit││ Goes to caitlin_express@CAUTION 2.0<3