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Post by tinsley on May 10, 2010 0:00:24 GMT
  
For the first time in a while, Tinsley felt good. No- not just good. Wonderful. Free. The free, crisp air didn't feel like it was choking her. Tinsley embraced it happily. Tinsley wasn't sure why she felt better, why she felt better than the way she had before. Was the closure that she finally felt? The thought that life was going back to the way it had been? Although- it was quite a lie. Life wasn't the same, not completely. It was going in a different direction- a better direction. Everything felt good to her, like the way it had before. Tinsley had joy inside her, now. She was able to smile and actually mean it.
And she never wanted it to end. Her footsteps seem to echo as she stepped on the crisp grass. Tinsley loved that rain-kissed smell of grass, first thing in the morning. When she woke up today, she could hear the birds singing their lovely song. Instead of feeling irritated, she found that she couldn't stop smiling. She felt like the old Tinsley; the one with the child-like wonder, the one who just wanted to go through life happy. Tinsley felt that haunting shadow of herself erase away, her old self coming back to life. And it felt wonderful.
Tinsley had no idea where she was going, like most of the time. She simply let herself walk around the grounds, not really caring. Because- really? What did she have to lose? The fresh feeling of happiness came back to her once again. Yes, this was definately the old Tinsley. The one who couldn't care less about anything. Free-spirited, carefree, and above all- happy. Tinsley thought that everybody looked better when they were smiling- her included.
Her long dark hair fluttered along behind her as she reached the top of the hill, near the Quidditch Pitch. Now, that surprised her. More than anything, for about two years now, Tinsley had strayed away from the Quidditch World. And for the first time in two years, Tinsley felt a pang of...regret, was it? She was so used to the roar of the pitch, the flashing lights of cameras. She was born into it. Until she was smart enough to realize it, she was constantly looking for something.
But this lovely day wasn't a day to reflect her mistakes and weaknesses. She just wanted a day, a day of the real Tinsley. She took a seat on the beachers, mistakingly staring off in distance. The sun was barely up, as Tinsley noticed a moment or two later. Wonderful, it's been a while since she's seen a sunrise.
It's funny how much people change in just a year or so. For example, Tinsley used to think that her father was superman. The way people treated him, compared to the way that the fans treat each other. At first, Tinsley was just completely awed. To have such an effect? But over time, Tinsley just thinks it's quite depressing. If people made half an effort to be nice to each other, as opposed to people who they don't really know- the world would probably be in a better shape.
But who was Tinsley to judge? As far as anyone else knows, or is concerned, Tinsley is the poster child for Heaven. A goody-shoe for the world. The one that you go to in times of trouble, because no matter what you've done- Tinsley wouldn't say a word about it. Despite it all, it was boring and dull. As much as Tinsley loved Mrs.Malfoy, she wasn't exactly planning to hear about everyone else's problems. But that just makes her sound vain, doesn't it?
If only there was a day to keep herself from thinking, Tinsley mused as she leaned back, still staring off in the distance.
STARRING : VIVI [ Tinsley ] & VAL [ dei ]
WORDS : 628
STATUS : FINISHED
NOTES : First real-Tinsley thread.
LYRICS USED : USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON
LISTENING TO : come on get higher- matt nathanson
BANNER CREDIT : TANA
TAGGED : TANA
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Post by deirdre cayley ashe on May 11, 2010 2:06:27 GMT
  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Dei loved flying. It calmed her, cleared her head. It took away her distractions, giving her something to focus on. When she was flying, everything else faded away, until all there was in the universe was the broom and her. Well, and the quaffle and bludgers during games and practices. And those were hard to miss. A bright red sphere on one that's trying to knock you off your broom. Yep, you tended to watch out for those. But today, she was flying for fun, to distract her from homework, and tests. From the deaths.
She had woken up early, before the sun. She had quickly dressed and sneaked out of her room, trying not to wake anybody up. Those secret Dei ninja powers came in handy. She had continued to go to the Quidditch Pitch, broom in hand. And that's how she ended up where she was, soaring above the ground. God, she loved flying. It was close to being the love of her life. Strands of hair that had escaped her pony tail whipped around her face and she moved, a smile on her face. This was one of her favorite timed to fly, before anyone else got there.
Because, really. Who needs sleep? Dei lived off of adrenaline and caffeine. Which, granted, was not exactly the most healthy lifestyle. But hey. She got her work done and turned in, right? She studied for tests and such. She knew the material. So what if she fell asleep in class on occasion? She wasn't the only one. There had been a time when Dei was younger that she would have gasped at the though of sleeping in class. But people change, despite how hard they tried to stop it, and how much it hurt the people they cared about.
Dei shook herself from that line of thought, distracting herself by thinking which way she would move. She didn't really need to, but it helped make sharper, quicker turns. She didn't really need to fly particularly high most of the time, being a chaser. But she practiced it sometimes anyway, to make it easier for the once-in-a-blue-moon that it would. She practiced fundamental flying, to keep herself from thinking. It was the weekend. Most of her work was done. She didn't need to think about anything other than what she was doing. She managed to convince herself of this for a while.
Then, she flew lower, getting ready to land, and was greeted by a not-so welcome surprise. Tinsley Wood. Her former best friend. "Frack. FrackfrackfrackFRACK,' She thought. She had been avoiding Tinsley for the past two years. And she'd been doing a pretty good job at it. Dei would always happen to see a shiny, obvious distraction. Across the room. Very, very far away. She didn't wnat to bring up the past. Why they weren't as close as they used to be. Didn't want to think about him. So she avoided them both, which took serious skill on her part.
But now, after two years, Tinsley was right in front of her. "Maybe I can just get away with saying hi and then getting the hell out of here," She thought almost hopefully. Then there was that little part of her that wanted to confront Tinsley. It was small, almost nonexistent. But it was there, no matter how hard Dei tried to beat it down. She sighed and landed. Might as well get it over with. Maybe it wouldn't be as painful as she thought. Maybe, for once, the fates weren't conspiring against her to make her life more difficult than it actually had to be.
Yeah, and maybe pigs would sprout wings and start flying.
[/color][/size][/size][/blockquote][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Tag?!Vivi [Tinsley][/color] Outfit?![/i][/color] Words?![/i]611[/color] Credit?![/i][/color] HeatherLynsey?![/center] |
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Post by tinsley on May 11, 2010 23:47:52 GMT
Memory was a funny thing, in the sad sense. For as long as Tinsley could remember, she would brush off terrible events. Just let them fall behind her, before she really has a chance to connect to them. Forgetting the bad parts of her life, not that there had been many, was always Tinsley's way of moving on. Not the best way, but at least avoiding them would be better than to be rushing into them. Right? But Tinsley tends to forget about the good things in life. Once in a while, an opportunity passes by. A chance for love, a risk in life, etc. While Tinsley has always dreamt about falling love, the sappy secret romantic that she is, she could never actually leave it to fate. A broken heart is just something she knows she'll never recover from, as proven in the past. But this would be ten times worse.
Just thinking about falling in love makes her edgy. She was scared of it, that much was obvious. But it just seems highly impossible for her. It wasn't as if Tinsley had made it clear that she was open to...well, love. No- just the opposite. However, it made her parents, mostly her father, very happy. A daughter who is completely oblivious to the troubles of a relationship? It's heaven on Earth for Oliver Wood. But Tinsley wasn't completely oblivious to the males at Hogwarts. Some of them, Jonathan included, were able to capture her attention. But never in that sense. But, of course, there was just one thing...but she refused to think about it. Or what that might mean, really.
The sun was slowly rising, setting the lovely grounds with a beautiful view. Did she drink something by accident this morning? It seemed too good of a day, as if setting Tinsley for a crash. But Tinsley wasn't a negative person, she's always been a happy-go-lucky kind of girl. If you can really find words to describe her, that is. An old song whispered itself in her memory, causing old memories to flood back into her. Her brain was processing what was happening faster than her heart. For a moment, Tinsley's lips lifted in a smile as she saw Dei. Then, without a doubt, it fell. For a moment, it felt like things were the same. Before that horrible, messy incident.
Tinsley wasn't sure what had made her do such a horrible thing, especially to Dei. In that moment, the darker side of Tinsley came out. The part of her that was willing to hurt her best friend. Or former friend, now. The sad part was, they had been the closest of friends. All three of them, in fact. Until, everything messed up. Old memories came flooding back to her, ones that Tinsley struggled to forget so badly. It had taken every ounce of her self-control not to let them back into her heart. What a waste, considering the good it's done.
" I don't see why we have to wait outside, it's freezing. " Tinsley said, laughing along with the male beside her happily. It was just another day at Hogwarts. They were finally done with their exams, the exhausting OWLs. " I don't know what's taking Dei so long. " Tinsley exclaimed, the giddyness getting to her. Because that's what she does best- to ignore the stress, and just go along with whatever she's doing. To be carefree and tune out the world. It had been so simple.
Everything felt so right back then, at least- it did to her. Combine all three of them, you get a whole person. While Dei was tough and fierce- filled with enough wits for them all, Tinsley had been the opposite. She was free-spirited, lively, and just a happy person in general. She didn't give a damn about everything else in the world, but just to life in the moment. He seemed perfect, but that was far from the truth. Just another hero at Hogwarts, Tinsley recalled thinking with disgust. She couldn't've been more wrong. But it wasn't really his fault, truly- she was the one to blame.
" Hey, " Tinsley greeted her former friend with an obvious edge of awkwardness. What else to say to someone who has good reasons to hate you for life? Not to mention that they haven't spoken for a good amount of time.
STARRING : VIVI [ Tinsley ] & VAL [ dei ]
WORDS : 733
STATUS : FINISHED
NOTES : flashback ! ( :
LYRICS USED : USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON
LISTENING TO : listen to your heart- DHT
BANNER CREDIT : TANA
TAGGED : TANA
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Post by deirdre cayley ashe on Jun 13, 2010 23:36:04 GMT
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Memory. Such a little thing when you think about it. Such a little thing that could make such a big difference in your life. In your relationships. There were memories that you blocked out. Memories like the ones flooding Dei's senses. Memories of the 'Old Days'. Back when the three of them had been the best of friends. Dei, the tough and witty one- not unlike a mother lion. Tinsley, the carefree one, the free spirit, the life of their group. And him...he was seemingly perfect. She had been sure that he hung the moon and the stars. She had loved him. And she had loved Tinsley, too. Tinsley had been like her second sister, her mind twin. He had been everything she had ever wanted- funny, sweet, smart, brave. He made her smile when she was crying. He had always been there for her. She hadn't dated anyone since that terrible, horrendous incident. She wasn't sure of she ever really wanted to. To give someone her heart like that again, and to have them break it a second time... she wasn't sure if she'd be able to recover, even with the love of her family and the soothing ability of Quidditch.
She hadn't made a friend as close as Tinsley had been either. A little voice in the back of her head told her that it wasn't entirely Tinsley's fault. That she should forgive her. She had Tins had been friends before him, hadn't they? Sisters before misters or something like that. But god, she had loved him. Or she thought she did. Her heart leaped whenever she saw him, and she had smiled when she saw him. She had been certain that their relationship, that their friendship would last forever. ' Nothing lasts forever' She thought bitterly. It all fell apart when he had kissed her best friend. Or she had kissed him. Did it really matter who had initiated the kissing? One of them had kissed the other, and it had all ended up on Rumor Raven, where she had found out about it. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if she had found out from one of the two of them. But no, she found out from a picture on a website. She hadn't handled the news very well.
Okay, that's the understatement of the year. She had flipped out. She had screamed at them. And she didn't scream. Then she had curled up in a corner somewhere secluded and cried. And then she didn't leave the common room for any reason other than classes, food, or Quidditch practice for months. And she was still avoiding the both of the. Or she had. It was surprisingly hard, partially because they were all in the same year, and they were bound to have a class together. Whenever either of them came to talk to her, she'd run -or walk- the other way. She had gotten good at that, and at blocking the memories of their friendship. Amazing how quickly those two years of practice and application came crumbling down at one meeting.
Amazing how the floodgates opened, almost making her cry at the lost happiness, the lost friendship. The friendship that had meant everything to her. It made her want to hug Tinsley and have things go back to the way they were, to erase the past. 'You can't erase the past, Dei. You can only change the future.' There was that little hopeful voice in the back of her mind again. The one that told her to forgive. Not necessarily forget, but to forgive her best friend. Well, former best friend. But Dei wasn't very good at admitting her mistakes. Or that she was being stubborn/ridiculous. She probably should work on that at some point. Besides, Tins had enough to deal with without Dei reminding her about their dark past. Okay, not really dark, but hurtful.
There was no was no avoiding a conversation with Tinsley now anyway. She had obviously seen Dei. She had greeted her. 'Crap. What am I supposed to say. "Hey. Sorry your brother's dead. Oh, and do you want to forget that little incident where you kissed my boyfriend and I flipped out at you? 'Cause that would be swell!"? Yeah, that'll go over well,' She thought, with a mental eye roll. Instead, she settled for, "Hey, Tinsley. How're you doing?"
[/b] There, simple and nonthreatening.[/size] [/color][/color] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Tag?![/color] Vivi [Tinsley!] Outfit?![/i][/color] Words?![/i][/color]Seven hundred and Sixty-two! Credit?![/i][/color] HeatherLynsey?![/center][/blockquote][/blockquote] |
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Post by tinsley on Jun 17, 2010 15:29:07 GMT
There was a reason why Tinsley turned herself away from love. It started in fifth year, with the person standing in front of her. Well, not that wasn't the only reason. But it was part of it. If you knew Tinsley as a child, you wouldn't've expected for her to end up this way. Not even by a long shot. As a child, Tinsley had wanted nothing else but to fall in love. After five years at Hogwarts, she had thought she did. With, no other, than her best friend's boyfriend. At the time, she had told herself it was okay, if it was true love. It was hard to believe that she had been so naive.
Of course, those wonderful feelings ended when she saw Dei's reaction. And nothing, not even what she had thought was love, had been worth it. Because, as much as she wanted it to be, it hadn't been love. She had just been another naive, carefree, oblivious girl. And then, of course, with the Jonathan incident. To watch her friend getting his heart broken was hard enough for her. All she knew was that if it had been her, she would've handled it a lot worse than either of them.
So Tinsley did the only thing that she had been left with. Hiding her heart and hope to keep it hidden. But the ironic thing- it hadn't been that hard. Tinsley had never been good with relationships in the first place, only going on dates when somebody pushed her. And even so, she had been bored out of her mind. she couldn't will herself to love someone, as much as she wanted to. Just to get it over with. But Dei had loved her boyfriend. The thing is, she could hardly blame Dei for keeping her distance. She would've done the same thing, if it had been her.
Unlike most girls her age, Tinsley had never been comfortable with sharing her feelings. She bottles it in, hiding it away. Even worse, she ran away from it. She refuses to accept anything else. She was strong enough to push away those feelings, anything that might push her off the tracks. It was something that she's been doing for so long, she didn't even question it anymore.
Maybe this whole mess could've been fixed a long time ago. But back then, Tinsley had been so sure of herself. She thought she knew what she was doing, what her feelings were. So, she never apologized. Well, she apologized. But she didn't apologize for doing it, she only apologized for Dei's feelings. After the feelings fixed themselves, Tinsley's pride had stopped her. Too involved with her own world, she had avoided Dei her whole sixth year.
She was such a coward.
What she didn't get was why she was talking to her now. Sure, her brother died. But Tinsley had thought she was coping with it rather well. No, that was a lie. But she gave off the impression that she was to everybody. It's always the same old story, that Tinsley had taught herself. " I'm still in shock. But I'm getting better. " It's only a lie, of course. But in her twisted, messed up mind- maybe, just maybe, if she said it enough times- it would be true.
She really does need therapy.
Now, the question. How was she? Confused. In shock. Depressed. Angry. Even more confusion. Trying hard to get over it. Hurt. Not that she would ever say those things out loud, of course. Giving Dei the same smile she's been giving out since the incident, Tinsley shrugged. " I'm fine. Just in shock. " Well, part of it was true anyways.
" How are you? "
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Post by deirdre cayley ashe on Jul 3, 2010 2:35:14 GMT
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She was lying. Well, not completely lying, but she was being slightly untruthful. Dei knew she was. They might have been avoiding each other for two years, but Dei knew Tinsley. Tins wasn't a bad untruth teller, but Deirdre had known her long enough to see when she wasn't being completely truthful. Tinsley could say she was fine as many times as she wanted, could smile that smile. But in the end, Dei would always know when she was being untruthful. Tinsley wasn't fine. She was hurt, badly. And Dei couldn't blame her. If she lost Aiden, or god forbid Sara, she'd be handling it worse than Tins was. Dei wouldn't be out trying to convince people she was fine. She'd be sobbing in her bed, not responding to anything. She couldn't say she knew what Tinsley was going through, but she could imagine the pain. And there was no way in hell Tinsley was as fine as she was trying to convince everybody she was. If this had been the old days, if they had still been friends, Dei would be comforting Tinsley, demanding to know everything. She'd be pointing out that Tinsley wasn't fine and that if she needed someone to talk to, Dei would always be there.
But that wasn't her place, not anymore.
But, then again, since when did she care where or what her place was? She didn't, really. But it would look weird. After all this time of Dei avoiding and shunning Tinsley, for her to suddenly be all buddy-buddy with her...Tins would probably think she was bipolar! Or that she wasn't really trying to fix their problems to make herself look good. This was most certainly not the case. Secretly, Dei wanted to reconcile with Tinsley. She didn't like avoiding her. Hard as it was to believe, it hurt Dei as much as it hurt Tinsley, possibly more. She missed having a girl to talk to about anything. Sure, she had Jon and Ezekiel. And then there was Lysander, who was always there. But they were all male. They were her friends, yes, but sometimes she wanted a girl to talk to. Besides, her parents got suspicious when a guy came over to the house, no matter how many times she insisted they were just friends. And they got even more suspicious when she didn't bring anyone home. Then they started insinuating that she was a social recluse and how she'd end up lonely and bitter with only the chip on her shoulder for company.
But that was beside the point. Tinsley was obviously hurting and she was asking how Dei was? Well, how was Dei? Tired. Stressed. Sorry. She couldn't exactly say any of that, without sounding sorry for herself. "Since the last time we talked? Much better, thanks." She said with a wry smile. The it slowly faded. This was as good a time as any/ She should speak now before she lost her nerve. That was what the little hopeful voice said. She really needed to get that checked out. It wasn't a good thing when you started having reoccurring voices. But then again, this voice wasn't really a voice. It was more like her subconscious. "Um...Tinsley? We really do need to talk about what happened fifth year.
[/b]" She took a deep breath. Where to begin, where to begin... " I'm...sorry.[/b]" That was a good place to start, she supposed. [/size] [/color][/color] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Tag?![/color] Vivi [Tinsley!] Outfit?![/i][/color] Words?![/i][/color]Five hundred and Ninety-three! Credit?![/i][/color] HeatherLynsey?![/center][/blockquote][/blockquote] |
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