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Post by alexei on Mar 15, 2010 16:43:45 GMT
what else can i do? i'm falling, falling for youthe other side of the world is so near, we'll reach out and touch it Alexei was ill. She was very ill. Every part of her body ached, and she had not had the will to use magic, and even if she'd tried she wouldn't have been able to. Around Christmas, at the dance, she'd felt a little down, perhaps because he had disappeared, or perhaps because someone had slipped something in her drink; and the feeling had not gone away. In fact, it had got worse, and by the time she'd returned to Hogwarts it had spread. She started to worry about her grandmother, who she'd stayed with for weeks, but she seemed to be fine, which was rather odd. People Alexei hadn't spoken to in months were ill, hacking out chilling coughs and unable to move. It was more than scary for the lion, who used to believe in no fear.
But the months had dragged on, and her nightly runs around the grounds in different forms came fewer and farther between. One night, not so long ago, she'd stayed hidden in the shadows of the castle, trying to change, and being unable to. She couldn't shift, and that night her spirit broke. That was the one thing she had now everyone else had disappeared, and it was gone. The corridors were deserted now, except for the few well people malicious enough to flaunt themselves in front of the diseased population. Even Alex's Head of House had come down ill, and was locked in her office, allowing students in every so often. Some of Alex's friends seemed to be okay, but many more were locked up with Alex, drinking constantly and resorting to muggle cures like Strepsils and ibroprufen to make them feel better. It didn't work, and every so often they had to go out. Today was Alexei's turn, or should we say this morning?
It was three in the morning when Alex left her dormitory for the big, cold, outside world. With her she dragged her duvet, shivering at every step she took and grasping the plush cover closer to her, even though she was wearing several other layers. Her pajama bottoms were thin, but she had her pajama top on, a hoodie and the duvet, not forgetting her trusty, battered Converses. Her long hazel hair was a mess, but not in knots, just generally messy and in a wavy mess, but she didn't care. She looked like death anyway, deep circles under her eyes, her skin ghostly pale, deathly. Every now and then hacking coughs came from her, but her effort was shallow, and within seconds she'd be wincing in pain and sinking onto the floor, hands on her throat trying to soothe the burning. Her other hand scrabbled for Olly, Olga, her toy lion whom she loved more than many other things. Olly was really the only one there for her at the moment.
At half thre Alexei pushed open a door she shouldn't have done, the fourth floor seemed warmer in the corridors than many others, but this room was ice cold. Alex winced and almost closed the door, yet her irritating, natural curiousity compelled her to enter. The window was broken in, letting the chill February air in, enveloping her and causing her to bury into the duvet. The door glided shut, with only a 'click' and Alex stumbled towards the object in the center of the room.
It was a gigantic mirror, much larger than another she'd come across. Alex wasn't textbook smart, but she could search the back of her memories and reach the conclusion that this was the Mirror of Erised; a legend. She couldn't quite remember what it was though, and as she wandered in front of it her expression became one of bemusement. As if a reaction to a normal facial expression, coughs wracked her body again, and she sank to the floor, grasping at her throat and Olly again. Eventually she looked up, and for a moment saw the pathetic reflection of herself, pale, reckless, ill, like black death warmed up. However, an instant later the image changed, and there, she saw three generations. Her parents standing over her, so proud of their beautiful young daughter- not so young anymore. Next to her, a man looking lovingly at her, as the older Alex in the mirror gazed into his eyes and drew closer into his arm cupping her shoulders. Below them, three children, two little girls and a boy. The girls were the spitting image of the other, dusty blonde hair in pretty dresses, smiling and hugging the boy; their brother; who was dressed in a smart casual little outfit, and had short black hair, like the man who caressed Alex.
What did the image mean? Alex's head spun more than it had been, if that was possible, and for a moment she couldn't remember anything. The image was not possible, Alex knew her parents wouldn't come back, and she knew that the three children didn't exist, nor ever would exist. It was a lie. Her mouth forming an 'O' Alex sighed, coughed, and hugged Olly. Tears started streaming down her face as she looked away from the mirror, couldn't look anymore, then back, not looking anymore. She didn't hear the door click, nor did she sense the figure until they were close to her, sitting next to her, and their breathing was not far from her ear. Even then she didn't look at them, gazing into the mirror and stuck going round and round in her own head. A tearful, muffled voice struck finally, hoarsened by the cold she suffered. "What do you want?" she asked the stranger, her Russian accent defined. She'd be surprised if they understood her, but then again, she didn't really believe anyone was there, or that they would react to the sobbing heap of a girl.
TAGS open WORDS n/a OUTFIT this + a duvet MUSIC goodbye lenin NOTES
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Post by sashaking on Mar 16, 2010 3:54:23 GMT
The side door to the grounds swung silently back into place as a dark figure disappeared into the shadows of the castle. Patchy moonlight, filtering in from the dusty windows cast a bluish light on Sasha's face as she stepped forward. She was uncharacteristically pale, with dark circles beneath her eyes that she no longer bothered to conceal. She was dressed for running, wearing black soccer shorts and a black t-shirt that advertised a summer soccer league back in the states. It had been absolutely freezing when she had gone outside an hour ago, but like always - and especially now - she had reveled in the feeling of eventually becoming warm despite the biting February night. She enjoyed being able to pretend that she still had some kind of control over her biological condition. The ominous pressure deep in her skull and sinuses was not a head cold, and Sasha knew it. Still, she imagined that if she ran fast enough, the sickness - whatever it was - would be left behind. It always caught up.
Like a panther, she moved quickly and silently, ascending each staircase with a practiced efficiency. Their rotations didn't hinder her. Within reason, she was able to jump and bridge widening gaps, and soon enough, she was at the fourth floor. Sasha had been to the Mirror of Erised only once before. She heard about it in her fourth year, and through information gathering and her own nightly explorations, she had discovered it within a few weeks. She'd stayed for five minutes, and had never been compelled to return, until now.
Silently cracking open the door and slipping inside, she paused for a moment and peered around the room. Her body was still heated from her run, and Sasha hardly even noticed the considerable drop in temperature when she walked in. A girl was sitting alone on the floor, crying hopelessly. She remained where she was, staring for a moment at the other girl and displaying an apathetic scowl at the situation in general. This wasn't meant to be a depressing, heavy-hearted expedition. Of all the nights. Still - she felt sorry for the girl, whoever she was. She looked freezing, wrapped in the duvet from her bed and shaking from her sobs. It looked like she couldn't decide if she wanted to look at whatever she was seeing in the mirror or not. She was probably sick. For how long, Sasha wondered? Was she one of the unfortunate ones who had slowly suffered since Christmas? Was this what she had to look forward to in a month? In a week? Sasha's mood was broken.
She quietly made her way to the back of the room, keeping to the shadows of the walls so she wouldn't disrupt the mirror's image, whatever it was the girl was seeing. It was only when she sat down next to the stranger did she see herself also reflected in its glassy surface. She recognized the girl next to her as a sixth year Gryffindor she'd seen around before. She didn't know much else - didn't have any reason to realize that this was the girl who had anonymously owled her about a week earlier. She watched as the reflection changed. It was different than the last time she had come here, and she had to tangle her fingers in the hair at the base of her skull to stop herself from trying to reach up and touch the face of the boy who appeared behind her - crouched on his heels and giving her a ridiculous smile above her shoulder. She didn't pull her gaze away from the vision when she heard the other girl speak.
"Nothing that has to do with you." Her reply came after a brief moment of silence while the stranger's words sank in. The response was quiet, and despite the words themselves, rather calm and warm. It was the solid truth. Sasha had come to this room out of curiosity, and to keep her mind away from problems that everything else during the day reminded her of. She hadn't expected nor wanted anyone else to be here. But so it was - and she found that she wasn't angry, upset, or even rather disappointed. She felt empty, and that was all.
notes; I hope this is okay. Maybe somehow they can realize that they sent letters to each other that one time. music; 2-1 by Imogen Heap outfit; black soccer shorts, black t-shirt, hair falling out of a bun. tagged; Alexei
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Post by alexei on Mar 27, 2010 22:16:21 GMT
what else can i do? i'm falling, falling for youthe other side of the world is so near, we'll reach out and touch it "Nothing that has to do with you." Alexei was kind of glad that the girl, person, whoever, didn't want to talk. She didn't feel much like talking, her fevered body whipping away all energy that hit her. She croaked out, and coughed, her hands rising to her neck again as it came "Good, can you shut the fuck up then please?"
[/color] Normally we would say that she was never as cranky as that, but in truth, Alex would often say things like that to most people- her friends mostly. It was part of her 'charm' as she sarcastically saw it. She didn't know if the other figure would understand the words, nor did the really care. She just wanted to sit and suffer in silence on her own. Being stuck in the dorm with her so called 'friends' made her depressed. She just wanted to sit and revel, enjoy, cut herself constantly with her sadness, her pain, her misery. Yes, perhaps pointless, hurtful, defeatist and sadistic, but it was how she wanted to live out her illness- and this girl was getting in the way. Not quite literally though. She was just there, and it was the presence that irritated Alex unless she was there to help. If it had been a friend to throw their arms around her and shush her, and say it was okay, Alex supposed the girl could have been tolerated, but not since she didn't care. Alex shook her head, her hands drifting down to clutch Olly, who had fallen onto the cold, stone floor, and to wrap her duvet and blankets around herself. The little battered lion wrapped himself inside and Alex pulled him in, clutching him to her and trying to stop the flow of cool textures from him to her. The school was freezing, she knew that, but this one moment, where he tumbled out of her hands and lay on the floor for a few seconds, minutes, made her feel worse. She had exposed Olly to this evil, and he would never be the same. But neither would she, so perhaps her favourite toy changing was a good thing. However, the same thing could not be said about the change in Alexei- the change in most of the student body. Only an utter sadist would call this good. Alex personally thought that even the most evil people in the world would find this barbaric- but that was her. Hoping to see the good in people against her cynical nature. It took some minutes for Alexei to move after that, to cover the back of her neck with the heavy duvet to stop the chills, and to turn her head towards the figure next to her. Observing, Alex thought she looked half troubled, half blissful. She was staring at the mirror. Why else would she be sitting here? she asked herself, smirking at her stupidity inwardly. Typical Alex. The world didn't revolve around her, even if her's did. Another brief look at the girl saw a hard face, tanned skin and dark hair, and a sharpened bone structure. Perhaps a scowl was always on her lips? Alex wouldn't know, though she was sure she'd seen the girl before, but she liked imagining the lives of people she met briefly, guessing and creating tales. From the expression she thought Slytherin- and by elimination she wasn't a Gryffindor- but who knew? She should try and find out more, but before she could phrase something in a way that would make things more acceptable the words tumbled from her lips, hanging in the air. "Are you ill too?" [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote] TAGS sasha WORDS n/a OUTFIT this + a duvet MUSIC goodbye lenin NOTES i'm so sorry this has taken so long! ='( And that sounds cool (:
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Post by sashaking on Mar 28, 2010 23:06:53 GMT
At the girl's coarse response between coughs and shivers, Sasha lazily tilted her head to peer at her from the corner of her eye. Her expression was amused but knowing, and she eyed the girl's disheveled appearance for a few more seconds before rolling her head back to face the mirror. Well, you did ask... she thought, but decided to keep her mouth shut - it seemed unnecessary. The sick girl was giving her reason to put money on the long-term suffering theory, and if this was true, then it was probably also true that she really didn't give a shit about the accuracy of any rash comments that happened to spew from her mouth. In any case, it didn't seem personal. Sasha took it in stride, and said nothing. They sat in silence.
She shifted her gaze from the mirror to watch the girl's stuffed lion as it fell to the floor. Well, that was certainly something. The broken girl tossing around vulgarities was carrying around what seemed to be a security toy. She clung to it like a drowning man to a piece of driftwood. Sasha found this mildly humorous, and couldn't help but wonder what this girl had been like before the illness. Probably a bit irritating, but maybe in a somewhat endearing sort of way. She dared to guess that they might have gotten along.
Then the girl spoke up, and Sasha began to wonder if this stranger's aggressive, bitter disposition was only a front. Her gaze remained fixed on the mirror, despite the fact that she was no longer focusing on its concocted image. "No," she said plainly, but pursing her lips in thought. "I'm not." It was so easy to run away from, to lie about and deny. It was something to fight against, and yet, she knew it was a battle that she couldn't win, if this person sitting next to her was any evidence. Her magic was starting to get iffy, and she absolutely feared the day when her broom stopped flying for her. She knew it would happen. And then what? Her resolution wavered.
"Um..." She paused to run her fingers through her hair in indecision as she looked down at her feet. Her voice was low and quiet. "Actually, I think I am. It's like... it's at that stage where you hope it's just nothing, you know? But honestly... everyone knows that this time, it's not." She pried a small fragment of stone from a crack in the floor and chucked it across the room in resigned frustration. "How long has it been since you were telling everyone you were sick with the flu?" Since before there was any proof around you to believe otherwise? Sasha didn't verbalize her guess, but the idea made her sad. That was a long time to suffer like this.
notes; oh it's all good. :] music; 2-1 by Imogen Heap outfit; black soccer shorts, black t-shirt, hair falling out of a bun. tagged; Alexei
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Post by alexei on Apr 4, 2010 17:03:37 GMT
what else can i do? i'm falling, falling for youthe other side of the world is so near, we'll reach out and touch it Silence seemed to be a defining feature of this meeting between the girls. Alexei unfortunately punctured it periodically, her coughs and wheezes. Though, she supposed that she had grabbed one of the few long straws. There were others who were dying inside the castle, others who were more like zombie monsters of muggle imagination than people anymore. Hopefully Brenan wasn't like that, Alexei hadn't spoken to him since the night of the dance- since the night she became ill.
It was so long ago, Alex had almost forgotten what it was like to not have a cold, or to walk around without feeling every gust of air. She'd forgotten what it was like to not wake up in the middle of the night clutching her stomach, soaked in sweat. This wasn't life was it? Where was the quality? She hoped that eventually, eventually it would leave her body and allow her to recover, but she knew that even then it wouldn't really matter. She was changed forever. Once changer, she'd never go back to her normal self again.
Another trembling cough and Alex croaked, drawing the duvet around her once again. She heard the girls answer though, the denial, the quivering hope that it would be okay. She tilted her head to her left, her face expressionless, her large eyes scanning the other girl. She looked healthy, toned, sporty, something that Alex never had been. Not ill. Not another one. Everyone was ill, but Alex hadn't ventured out in a long time to know that. Just reports from everyone else, her owls that she'd been trying to use to communicate. Eventually they stopped coming though, probably freaked out by the fear, the horror and the darkness. She couldn't say she blamed them.
"Christmas."
[/color] A one word answer to a question, and some information that deserved more. But saying that, the one word sent her head spinning. Ill since Christmas, that was nearly four months! Four months, no wonder she couldn't remember anything but illness! But this poor girl still had it to look forward to- the poor girl. It wasn't that Alex usually thought that sort of endearing thoughts about people she didn't know at all, but it just touched her. She wasn't the only one in the universe- even if hers did revolve around her. "I'm sure you'll be okay, you look fit enough, besides, it can't be long until they find a cure.. right?"[/color] [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote] TAGS sasha WORDS n/a OUTFIT this + a duvet MUSIC goodbye lenin NOTES i'm so sorry this has taken so long! ='( And that sounds cool (:
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Post by sashaking on Apr 5, 2010 14:36:38 GMT
Christmas. Sasha had been hoping that her guess was wrong. Well. That certainly sucked. She kept her gaze focused on her feet. What did you say to something like this? 'Sorry about that, three months is a long-ass time to be sick.' Obviously, like she wouldn't have noticed. 'Sorry about that, I'm sure it'll let up soon.' Yeah right. 'Sorry about that, I'm really glad I'm not you.' Ouch.
The silence stretched on as Sasha searched for words that seemed appropriate. Very faintly, she shook her head. Since when did she ever think so much before she spoke? Since when did she feel that she ever needed to? She was beginning to read too much into things. This sweeping illness was really getting in her way, and suddenly, Sasha decided that she wasn't going to let it make her feel sad, too. After all, what was there to be sad about? There was nothing she could do to change what was happening, so let the pieces fall where they may.
The girl's voice snapped Sasha out of her reverie before she had thought of anything to say. Good deal, as far as she was concerned. I'm sure you'll be okay? Really? That's probably what this sick girl thought about herself before she realized she wasn't getting better. Sasha's face remained relatively neutral, but her eyebrows pinched downward. A cure? Didn't she know that nobody had heard anything from outside the castle? Didn't she know that the entire Hogwarts campus was quarantined? A few weeks ago, just for kicks, she'd tried to step outside of the school boundaries. It was like being inside of a goddamn Nintendo 64 game with invisible walls barricading the outside world, imprisoning you to some predetermined linear pathway. Didn't she know this?
Some people build emotional walls to protect their feelings, to keep people out. Sasha was never one of these people. She often projected her feelings outward, in order to ignore them internally. Anger was her tool; comfortable, smooth, and well-worn around the edges. She hated knowing that she could do nothing for this girl, and nothing for herself. So really, there was no reason to dwell on it. Being honest would perpetuate this feeling, but she couldn't give false hope. None too gracefully, she changed the subject. Sasha had never been known for her tact.
"Don't you have any friends to keep you company?"
It was a rather stupid question, as she realized after she said it. Nobody brought their buddies along to come stare at the Mirror of Erised. Besides... friends[? Heck, by now, almost the entire student population was sick. Sick friends usually did not make good company, Sasha decided. What a stupid thing to say. Maybe the stranger would get angry and leave; but part of her hoped she wouldn't, and this frustrated her. She lifted her gaze to the mirror, at the boy who was now leaning in close to her ear and whispering words she couldn't hear. She stared at the reflection with eyes full of steel.
notes; lol she asked the exact same question in one of the letters. don't know if it's enough to spark any memory from Alex, but I figured I'd try throwing something in there. music; 2-1 by Imogen Heap outfit; black soccer shorts, black t-shirt, hair falling out of a bun. tagged; Alexei
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