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Post by jonathanhardcastle on May 30, 2010 1:27:19 GMT
 It took me a lifetime to realize things don't get lost if they don't have value -You don't miss what you don't care about. - - - - - - - - - -
Jonathan wasn't someone who normally would meet a stranger voluntarily, especially in the late hours of the night. But sometimes people like to switch things up, right? Right. Besides, the girl, whomever she was, seemed nice enough. He wasn't exactly sure why he had complained to her about Roxanne, that was also uncharacteristic of him. It was a rarity for Jonathan to open up to someone whom he hardly knew, it generally took quite some time before he truly trusted someone. And now he was about to go meet her and he wasn't completely sure if that was a good idea or not. It wasn't that he was worried about getting caught by any of the professors, he could easily talk himself out of trouble. Professors, as well as fellow prefects, had generally turned the other way whenever Jonathan had been caught doing something wrong. Not that he broke the rules frequently or anything. He normally tried his best to follow the rules at school. Rules were there for a reason and it gave structure and order to what would be a chaotic place without them. Of course, he knew his views on that were more traditional than most.
But now he was about to go reveal his identity to someone whom he had shared something really personal with. Why had he even started talking about the whole situation? He was now sorely regretting talking about it. Hopefully she wouldn't bring it back up or anything. What if they already knew each other? He didn't really know all that many people in Gryffindor, not that he could think of off the top of his head anyways. It would be humorous if it turned out to be his own sister but he would have been able to recognize her handwriting if that were the case. A knot began forming in his stomach as he thought about the possibility of the girl being a good friend of Roxanne's. Or even just a friend. What if they already knew everything about he and Roxanne? What if they just ended up laughing when they saw they were meeting Jonathan Hardcastle? That would be horrendously embarrassing. He now felt as though he should have asked her age, that could be an indicator if this person would know Roxanne. The way she had written and the way she had talked about things like romantic rendez-vous led him to believe that she was around his age, give or take a year.
As he walked down the eerily quiet corridors, he desperately tried to think of something positive. He didn't need to make his already strong sense of social anxiety any worse by worrying. Instead he thought about going home, which he would be doing soon. The end of the school year was always bittersweet for Jonathan. He loved seeing his family and being able to spend a few months with them. There was no place that was as comforting as home. But Hogwarts had quickly become his second home and leaving it was painful at times. It was weird to think that in a little over a year he would probably never come to Hogwarts again. That is if he didn't try to take the position of Healer at the school. But he doubted he would end up doing that, it had just always been an idea he toyed around with in the back of his mind.
It didn't take long for Jonathan to find himself in front of the portrait leading to the kitchens. He slowly extended his index finger and gave the pear a gentle tickle. He could remember when his mother had told him how to get to the kitchens. It had been right before he'd gotten on the Hogwarts Express for the first time, back when he had been only eleven. Of course, he had been far too much of a chicken back then to break the rules and go down there in the middle of the night. His first trip down to the kitchens didn't actually happen until his fourth year on a night where he just couldn't get over how empty his stomach was. And now he went down there about once a month, mainly to pass the time when he couldn't sleep. Insomnia had almost always been a problem for the boy.
Jonathan was careful not to step on any of the house elves as he clumsily made his way through a crowd of them. He could have sworn the number of house elves multiplied every time he came down there. After sitting down, he went ahead and asked the little elves for an apple pie, just like she wanted. And now there was nothing left to do but wait.
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TAGGED: Roxanne!
WORDS: 806
MUSIC: harry potter movie marathon (: |
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Post by roxanne hope weasley on Jun 5, 2010 2:58:26 GMT
  Roxanne ran a hand through her hair as she looked over her essay one more time. She let out a sigh. “ Why in Merlin’s name, do I leave everything to the last minute?” she asked herself silently. She knew the answer, she worked better under pressure. She could never work well when she knew she still had time to complete something. Her brain just didn’t function that way, nor did it function on an empty stomach. Roxanne sighed; she had sent an owl a few minutes ago to a total stranger and asked him to join her for pie. Even if he declined, she knew she’d be heading down to the kitchens in a few moments for pie. She was hungry and craving apple pie, so she was going to go get some.
Roxanne could only imagine what her mother would say if she knew her daughter was sneaking around the castle after midnight to go meet a boy she’d never met before. She would tell Roxanne she was crazy and forbid her to do it. She’d claim it was too dangerous or the likes, yet for Roxanne it was an adventure, it was a way to make a new friend or at least meet someone else. Even if it was someone she knew it would be a good laugh.
Roxanne racked her brain trying to think of who the Ravenclaw prefects were, but other then Lysander she had no clue. It wasn’t surprising that Roxanne had no idea who the prefects were, she never did know, the only times she knew was when a family member was one, but that was so rare these days in the Weasley clan. Much to Grandma Molly’s dismay it seemed that many of them had turned out to be much too much trouble to bee prefects and no one in their right mind would ever make Roxanne a prefect. She was her father’s daughter through and through and she simply caused way too many problems to be a prefect. The headmaster would have to be completely insane to do so, and not insane like Dumbledore was, Dumbledore had been insane in a genius manner, but to make her prefect you’d be insane in the Lockheart manner. Completely bonkers.
An owl flew in interrupting her thoughts. Roxanne opened it and smiled. The prefect had agreed to meet her. Dropping her quill, Roxanne stood up and stretched. She ran her hand through her hair once more, than left the common room. Roxanne went through the list of Ravenclaws and tried to think of who it could be. She didn’t even think of Johnathan. This wasn’t the type of thing he would do; he was quite straight edged, maybe that’s why Roxanne had gotten bored in the relationship. There simply wasn’t any excitement.
Pondering who it could be, Roxanne made her way down, and she knew it wasn’t Ezekiel, for the simple reason that like her, you would have to be simply insane to make him a prefect. Roxanne made her way down the stairs only diverging from her path once, to avoid a prefect making rounds. Muttering under her breath about bloody goody two shoes prefects, Roxanne continued on her way. It wasn’t long before she made her way down to the kitchens. She could still remember the first time she had gone down. Her father had told her who to get there before her first year, but she had been a bit hesitant to go. During her first year she had missed dinner one night and was quite unhappy about it, so she had found her brother Fred and begged him to come down with her. He had done so, and that was her first trip down. Smiling to herself, she made a mental note to make sure that she and Fred had one last midnight snack together in the kitchens before he left.
It made Roxanne sad to think that her brother would be gone next year. She loved him dearly and it was always nice to have him around. She wasn’t too sure what she was going to do without him. Now that she thought about it, many of her friends were leaving at the end of the year, it made her somewhat sad, yet she knew she’d keep in contact, there was no way she’d stop talking to them. They were a part of her life. She knew that without them she’d go insane.
Tickling the pear, she smiled as it turned in to handle. She opened the door and smiled at delicious smells wafting in the air. She instantly saw a house elf she knew and she smiled as she stopped for a quick chat with her. When the house elf pointed her into the direction of where another student was waiting, she smiled and thanked the elf before making her way over. Roxanne stopped dead in her tracks when she saw who it was. “Bloody Hell!” she cried out. Johnathan Hardcaslte sat in front of her with a slice of apple pie. It made complete sense now! Of course he would be the Ravenclaw prefect! Roxanne could feel her blood turn cold. She half expected him to dock points of Gryffindor and stalk off. It would be just like him. Because it was apparent now that he hadn’t been able to move on.
She knew she was wrong. But that mistake was one she had made almost two years ago. She knew cheating was wrong, and she would never do it again. She had even apologized once. But she would not apologize again. Her pride wouldn’t let her.
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Post by jonathanhardcastle on Jun 6, 2010 19:32:41 GMT
It took me a lifetime to realize things don't get lost if they don't have value -You don't miss what you don't care about. - - - - - - - - - -
His mind began to wander as he looked down at all of the house elves. He couldn't imagine ever living the life they did. Of course, they were actually happy with taking orders and the like but it still seemed as though they led a miserable lifestyle. He could remember from his younger years, when his parents used to force he and his sister to family dinners, the few households where they had their own personal house elf. Some were treated with kindness and a somewhat reserved respect while others were treated as if they were the dirt on the sole of their shoes. He had always gotten rather sad when visiting households which treated their elves in the latter form.
His mind started to return to the contemplation of who would be walking into the kitchen in a matter of minutes. But since that only caused him to get anxious he immediately made his mind focus on other things. Such as his conversation with Sophia he'd had the other day. He still hadn't spoken to her after her abrupt departure. Her whole reason for leaving was a solid enough reason because she would randomly do things like that for the jackass Slytherin. But it had been the whole conversation about violence before that which had been the unsettling part. She seemed to be on the verge of confessing something to him; something where she had performed some sort of violent action. But why would she be so hesitant about it? They had told one another unbecoming things about themselves at some point or another. He harbored no secret from her. Maybe he was just being suspicious but he got the horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach which made him believe there was some truth in his suspicions. Hopefully he would see her again soon so they could get to the bottom of it. Or would it be better to just let her have this one secret? It was hard to tell.
His musings were cut short when he heard a familiar voice yell. He could feel the blood draining from his face as he looked up to see the face of none other than Roxanne Weasley. He honestly had the worst luck in the entire world. Of course she would be the person who would be the random recipient of a letter which ended up in him ranting about how he was still hurt over their past relationship. Embarrassment now colored his white cheeks, the red spreading quickly. He'd always been able to blush easily but he couldn't help but believe that anyone would be blushing under this sort of pressure.
He opened his mouth to say something but then almost immediately closed it when he realized that he had nothing coherent to say. What was he supposed to do now? He had already made a fool of himself. This was exactly why he should never have opened up to a perfect stranger or well someone whom he had no idea what their actual identity was. Now she would think of him as pathetic, if she didn't already. Only Sophia and Tinsley knew that he was still hurt over the whole ordeal or that's what he liked to believe anyways. He hadn't spoken to Roxanne since the incident and he was pretty sure that the last things he'd said to her had been rather, erm, colorful.
What was the best thing for him to do now? Would running off really be the best way to save face? Though he would never claim to be brave, he didn't want to take the coward's way out as he had been for the past year. But would she even actually want to sit and talk to him? What would they even talk about? He hardly wanted to hear about this new relationship she was in and he didn't want to talk to her about what had happened because that would just be like pouring salt over an open wound. He was actually surprised she hadn't just left the kitchens after seeing him. That would have made things easier. But for now he felt as though he held the cards and he wasn't sure whether he should fold or not.
Without a whole lot of conscious thinking, he slid the plate of apple pie forward, "Well, here's your pie," he said awkwardly. He was normally awkward but he figured that most people would be just as awkward as him if they had been in his shoes (though probably not). He once again contemplated leaving but before he could finish that thought he found himself once again blurting out things without thinking about it, "Well this is awkward, huh?" he added, trying to appear as though he was comfortable when it was clearly obvious he wasn't. He figured that now she could leave or stay, it was up to her. He didn't know which one he would rather have her do.
- - - - - - - - - - NOTES: no problemo. i know you're busy (:
TAGGED: Roxanne!
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Post by roxanne hope weasley on Jun 12, 2010 21:40:47 GMT
Why in the world did you decide it would be a good idea to invite a random stranger to have pie with you? a voice in her head asked Oh I know why, because you are an idiot, a complete blubbering idiot. Hey let’s ask some stranger to get pie with me, even though I know he’s a Ravenclaw, a prefect and has been cheated on. That doesn’t sound like a bloke I dated and cheated on. Nope, not at all. Of for the love of Merlin, why on this green planet are you so darn stupid? Even the voices in her head were sarcastic.
Roxanne felt her blood run cold as she looked at Johnathan Hardcastle. He didn’t seem to have changed much in the last two years or so. Sure he’d grown a bit, but in the end he had the same face, the same eyes, the same look when he saw her, and the same aura around him. He seemed very much to be the same person he had been when they were together. Maybe, he had changed but she didn’t see the changes, maybe she never would. Roxanne had a feeling in her hear that to her he’d always be that boy she’d last talked to in the beginning of her fifth year. The one who’s heart she’d broken because she did know how else to end it. She was a different person from that time. She’d changed, but she didn’t expect him to see those changes. To him she’d probably always be the girl who cheated on him. And she’d come to accept the fact that many people would only see he as that. Yet she didn’t care. She’d long since moved on. She couldn’t have stayed in the same place it was healthy to do so. Their relationship had ended almost two whole years ago. And in two years they hadn’t spoken. They had hardly laid eyes on each other. At first it was because they avoided each other, but soon it was simply that their paths never crossed.
Gritting her teeth Roxanne pondered what to do. Sure, she was the Gryffindor out of the pair, but she sometimes wondered if the sorting hat had made a grave error, for she had hardly any courage at all. She wondered if she should simply turn on her heel and leave. That would be safer, for staying would cause some sort of drama, there had always been drama with her and Johanathan. Maybe that was the first sign that said they weren’t good together. Roxanne bit her bottom lip as her mind raced with her options, what was one supposed to do when they ran into a situation like this? She wished she knew.
Roxanne had just about decided to leave when he spoke, pushing her pie forward. He was always just so darn nice. Too nice. It drove her insane! She hated how nice he was, the only time he had been mean was near the end of the relationship, the last time he had spoken he had thankfully been a bit rude, but other than that he was just so darn nice it was aggravating. She almost wanted to scream, or throw her pie at him or something. Anything to stop him from being so nice. Instead she let out a small sigh to calm herself down. “Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you” she said calmly. She was going to act mature, she decided. She was going to be grown up and face the situation. She plucked every ounce of her Gryffindor courage and forced a small smile on to her lips. She took a few steps forward and sat down across from him. She pulled the pie towards her picked up the fork. She held it absentmindedly in her hand, for a few moments.
“It is” she agreed, lowering her gaze to the plate in front of her. With all her attention on her pie she slowly used her fork to break a piece off the pointed end of the slice, she never brought it up to her lips. Instead, she watched it slide of her fork and land on her plate. Forcing herself to look up she smiled and said in a soft voice. “How are you?”. She didn’t know what else to say. She thought momentarily about asking how his sister was doing, but she knew the answer to that, his sister was in her house and she saw her daily.
Roxanne never actually got the small piece of pie she had broken off to her lips. Instead she absentmindedly mashed it on her plate using the back of her fork. Her fingers were wrapped tightly around the fork her knuckles turning white, a sign of the stress she was feeling. Roxanne wasn’t used to staying put in tense situations. She had always ran. When hard times came along, she had ran as far and as fast as she could. She couldn’t help herself, when it came down to fight of flee, she would flee.
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Post by jonathanhardcastle on Jun 13, 2010 21:48:22 GMT
It took me a lifetime to realize things don't get lost if they don't have value -You don't miss what you don't care about. - - - - - - - - - -
They always say that experience is the best teacher for all of life's lessons. Experience had definitely taught him a lesson that evening. Never again would he venture off to meet someone he had only corresponded with anonymously through the mail. Especially if, for some unknown reason, he had opened up to them and shared all of his emotional burdens. What had caused him to do that anyways? Maybe he was just looking for someone to understand or the blanket of being anonymous had been comforting enough. But then why had he willingly gone to meet her? In the letters she didn't seem to find him pathetic, back when they had no idea that he was speaking of her. But now he knew that she had to think of him as weak, as incapable of moving on from her. Not only did he paint himself in a bad light but it would probably only stroke her ego that he hadn't been able to get over her yet.
Was this chance meeting some sort of sign or was it merely a token of his bad luck? It was possible that this was his chance to finally get some closure, if that was what he had been missing. Of course he wanted to ask why she had done what she did, something which he had never gotten the chance to ask mainly because he had been too angry at the time. Also, he was afraid that he already knew the answer. He couldn't fully blame her for her actions, he too was also at fault. He had never completely gotten over her cheating on him the first time around and normally brought that up whenever they had an argument. And they seemed to have those all of the time. He used to like to blame their fights on his opinion that she was just a confrontational person. But he knew that towards the end, he'd been just as much at fault because broken trust just did that to a person.
They had always had their problems though, as most couples do. They were just different people. Opposites attract but Jonathan learned that they just don't stick. She was outgoing and somewhat abrasive at times, she loved Quidditch, social relations were incredibly important to her and so on and so forth. At times, she had been able to break him out of his tightly closed shell, making him experience new things and all of that stuff. It was always strange to look back on relationships. Sometimes it was so easy for him to only remember the good times and overlook the rest of the bad things which happened. But most of the time, all he could see were those dark clouds that always seemed to be hovering over the two of them. It was easy to see now with the gift of hindsight that the two were destined to never work out in the long haul.
Was it completely unfair for him to still be upset about what had transgressed? Wasn't it about time for him to get over everything? He had long talks with both Sophia and Tinsley about this and each time he felt as though he was ready to move on completely. But there was something that always stopped him from doing so. He knew it was vastly immature of him. He knew that he should just let it go and move on with his life. In some ways he had but the whole ordeal still had an effect on him. He just wished he had never told Roxanne that. Was it even possible for the two of them to be friends? He had no idea and he wasn't sure if he even wanted her friendship. But maybe this was his chance to start anew. He needed to remain positive about the situation he was currently in or he was bound to let his nerves get the best of him.
There was a brief pause between his sliding the pie forward and her response. A pause long enough to make him wonder if he'd made some huge mistake. The tiny sigh she released sounded like one of resignation and he couldn't help but feel as though he should have just left. He gave her a brief smile which oozed with falsehood, "Uh, yeah. No problem." He now found his fingers interlacing with one another, one of his many nervous habits. He desperately wished he'd ordered himself something as well. It would have given him something to do with both his mouth and his hands. It seemed as though she was nervous as well but that could have been a false hope. Why would she be nervous? If anything she was probably just uncomfortable. He sincerely believed that he was probably one of the last people on earth she would want to be stuck in a room with at the time being. Especially after what he had confessed in those blasted letters.
As she agreed with him, a small smile crept on his lips. Now he was completely out of things to say other than talking about the weather or something equally as dull. He tried not to let his nerves show completely, though they were getting worse with each passing moment. His palms were beginning to get sweaty, a sure sign that he was feeling exceptionally awkward. He looked at her confused for a moment by her question. He knew that she was just trying to make conversation but a part of him was suspicious of her only asking this because of what he had said in the letters. Deciding it would be best to avoid that subject completely he responded, "I've been doing pretty well, I guess. You know, I've been better but I've sure of hell have been worse," he stopped abruptly. Hopefully she wouldn't think that was a reference to anything that had happened between the two of them. Quickly he added, "You know, like school and everything. It all just seems to be piling up on me but I guess that always happens at the end of the year. But I'm definitely looking forward to going home." He was beginning to ramble now. She was one of the few people he had that problem around. Normally he had a problem forming coherent sentences but around her they just flowed uncontrollably whenever he began speaking.
After a moment her regained his composure, "What about you though? How are things?" He wondered if she would bring up her boyfriend. He was honestly a little curious about who it was but at the same time he didn't know if he was ready to hear about it. Hell, maybe it would help him get over her...just as long as it wasn't James.
- - - - - - - - - - NOTES: no worries, love.
TAGGED: Roxanne!
WORDS: 1154
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Post by roxanne hope weasley on Jun 19, 2010 15:14:02 GMT
It took a few moments, but soon enough, regret settled into Roxanne. Why in Merlin’s name had she decided that asking how he was doing was a good idea? The boy had sent her a letter saying that she was still causing him pain, and she decided to ask how he was. Roxanne was ready to hex herself into oblivion. She really was the densest person around. Although, given the only other person in the room was a Ravenclaw. And compared to a Ravenclaw, she really didn’t stand much a chance, much less against one who hated her. Looking down at her plate she continued to absent mindedly mutilate the pie on her plate.
It was funny the way life worked. One moment you were filled with adrenaline in the excitement of making a new friend and a moment later all you wanted to do was run away from the person you were meeting, because well that person turned out to be your ex. An ex you cheated on none the less. Yup, life was hilarious, one of the run of the mill, regular comedians. Roxanne wondered for a moment why she had chosen to stay. Maybe it would have been better for both of them if she had once again taken the cowards way out and left. It would have been a lot easier to breath. Maybe she should keep track of who the prefects were. For if she had known, this situation would not be happening.
Maybe if she was more responsible and courageous in the past none of this would happen. She should have made better decisions, but she didn’t. She never had and never would. Sure, she would never cheat again, but she still held on to her old ways. Yes, she was in love with Ezekiel. He had been her best friend for years, and now he was more. And nothing made her happier, but right before him she had made other mistakes. She pushed people away when things got hard and she managed to hide away or run.
Maybe that’s why she loved flying so much. If things went wrong all she had to do, was kick off and she could get away. She would be away from all the people, all the problems everything. And sure it would be back there when she was on the ground, but in the end it let her get away and in the end she couldn’t sit still.
But no one knew that. She was good at hiding. She was good at making it seem like it was all good in her world. That there were no trials and tribulations in her world, at least that’s what she wanted, no needed, people to see. She didn’t know why but showing that all was not well scared her terribly. Maybe because the moment all wasn’t well she felt vulnerable, and she didn’t want to be vulnerable. She wanted to be strong .She wanted to be put together. And although things were actually going well now, she didn’t want Johnathan to think that she still had any feelings for him. If he still had feelings for her, then and sign of weakness on her part could be bad. She knew she had hurt him, and she didn’t want to hurt him anymore. He deserved better, even she knew that.
She would never forget what happened. They had been arguing again, they always argued, but they always made up, yet that time something inside Roxanne snapped. She lost it. She ended up at a party, where she hooked up with a good friend of hers for revenge. It wasn’t the first time she had done this, one year before she had kissed another guy once at the beginning of the relationship. It had been a mistake, but it was one that she was never allowed to forget, so when the time came to end it, she figured she might as well end it the same way it began, by hurting him. She wasn’t a mean person, but her anger had simply gotten the best of her, as it often did.
Looking back now, she wished she had done it differently, but it was too late. She could hardly steal a time turner and turn back time; even if she could she didn’t know if she would. Maybe it was better this way. She had told him, but it was only after she’d confided in someone else before. Sure a few of her friends had told her she was wrong to do what she had done, but they didn’t leave her, for which she was thankful. They knew Roxanne; they knew she was one who was ruled by her impulses and emotions. She couldn’t help herself. She was a true Gryffindor in that manner; the only thing she lacked was courage. For if she had courage, she would have simply broken it off with him using her mouth, talking to him, not hurting him. Maybe she should have been in Slytherin.
Listening to his words, she gave him a small smile. “Yea, the end of the year does tend to be a tad brutal, I’m sure that being a Ravenclaw, you took the hardest course available” she offered gently. She wondered for a moment if she should apologize or try to make things right. Maybe there was a reason that they had ended up meeting up. Roxanne had always believed in faith somewhat. She believed that everything happened for a reason. So there had to be a reason for which they had met up tonight, a reason, other than making the two of them incredibly uncomfortable.
“Oh, things are going well with me,” she said simply. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how much detail he wanted to hear, or if he was simply saying it to be polite. Knowing Johnathan , it was probably just to be polite. She wondered slightly if he was going to stand up and walk away. But a part of her didn’t want him to. A part of her wanted to resolve this. A part of her wanted an old friend back. But it was a matter or if her pride would or would not get in her way.
“The weather’s been lovely lately hasn’t it?” Roxanne said rather lamely. She didn’t know why she brought up the weather, usually she could always come up with conversation topic, but it seemed that he had the opposite effect on her.
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Post by jonathanhardcastle on Jun 21, 2010 20:54:36 GMT
It took me a lifetime to realize things don't get lost if they don't have value -You don't miss what you don't care about. - - - - - - - - - -
Jonathan could only hope that the embarrassment he was feeling very strongly at the moment wasn't showing through. It was a distant hope. Normally people who knew him well enough could easily see through any halfhearted mask he attempted to put on. But then again, maybe he was in luck. It was possible that Roxanne was no longer able to read him as easily as she had been able to a couple of years ago. Much had changed since then. She'd obviously changed. Was it too absurd for him to hope that he had changed as well? He was pretty sure he hadn't, not in the slightest. Except that maybe he was more melodramatic these days and a little bit more like these "emo" kids he'd heard about from someone. None of his changes had been positive ones.
He imagined that she was probably feeling about as awkward as he was at the moment. He could assume so safely after taking note of the mutilated pie on her plate which looked as though she hadn't taken a single bit out of it. Jonathan had never really seen Roxanne like this. He wouldn't have thought that 'awkward social encounter' had even been in her vocabulary. He had never met anyone who was capable of making Roxy be as quiet as she was right now. He couldn't help but wonder what was going through her mind right then. Was she glad she had stayed or did she wish she had made the decision to leave him alone in the kitchen? It was a question which would more than likely go unanswered as he wasn't about to ask her aloud.
To be perfectly honest, he still wasn't sure if he regretted staying or not. During the last encounter, which had been their breakup, he hadn't exactly been the kindest person in the world. He had said a few things which he had deeply felt but in hindsight, he wished that he had never said them. It was a horrible way to end things. Not only had that been the end of their relationship but sadly it had also been the end of their friendship. Maybe his reasoning behind staying was based on the fact that he didn't want his last memory of her to be one where he had been someone who he wasn't; someone who was cruel. But did it really matter what his previous reasoning had been? He was here and that was that. He might as well try and make the best of it.
That was the horrible thing about the past. It was something which one could reflect on easily but no matter how much one examined it from every angle and see how at the time they could have fixed things, there was no way of making everything okay in the present. Well, unless one had a Time-Turner but those magical objects were dangerous and Jonathan had always felt as though they were something that never should have existed. Tampering with time, that was something which no human, magical or not, should be able to do. Of course, there were many who disagreed with him. Thankfully, Time-Turners weren't available for just anyone. They had to have a very good reason to get their hands on one of those. Now he couldn't help but wonder what someone had to go through in order to legally get a Time-Turner. What were the credentials? He made a mental note to ask his father, just to appease his curiosity. Now probably wasn't the time to be thinking about things like that.
He looked up at her quickly before returning his gaze down towards his hands. Instead of the familiar swooshing feeling he normally got when he saw her, he felt nothing like that. Was this a sign that he was really and truly over her? And if that was the case, why was he still having such a hard time getting over what had happened? Shouldn't he be a bigger person than that? He had always liked to think of himself as a forgiving person but he was the opposite of that when it came to Roxanne. What was it about her that seemed to bring out the worst side of his personality? He felt as though he had always done the same to her as well. Yet another reason why the two of them would never be able to work. This fact was becoming more evident the more and more he thought about it. Why was this clarity only coming now?
He chuckled, "Ah, those house stereotypes again. But I guess they're doing you justice as you're right about that one. I probably should have taking something easy like Divination so that I'd have one class which didn't require any conscious thought," he replied, though he was joking. Anyone who knew Jonathan would know that he couldn't stand taking a subject like that. Nothing made sense in that class and in Jonathan's world, he needed everything to make sense and have a concrete answer. Turning the subject away from himself he asked, "Getting nervous about your NEWTS? he asked conversationally.
He pursed his lips nervously and nodded his head once, "Well, that's good to hear," he replied, looking up at her and back down at his hands. He was glad that she hadn't gone into more detail about her boyfriend but he found himself curious about the other aspects of her life. Maybe that was a good sign. Maybe it was a sign that their friendship was still buried underneath all of the bull they'd been through together. "Are you going to University?" he asked, figuring that she probably would but felt embarrassed that he didn't know the answer beforehand. Shouldn't he have at least known that about her?
Now Jonathan couldn't help but laugh. "We've really gotten that bad, haven't we? Hopefully we have more things to talk about than the weather," he replied, though he wasn't sure if they did. After he finished laughing he added, "But yes, the weather has been just charming lately," he replied, a lopsided smile still present on his face.
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TAGGED: Roxanne!
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