shatter me with hope ! [ tinsley * sasha ]

[tinsley]

Once, a very long time ago, Tinsley had claimed she had a fear of heights. Of course, no one really believed her. She can imagine the look on their face if they had. A legendary Wood...afraid of heights? But, back then, Tinsley had desperately seeked the escape to the claimed fame she had. Her father was the best Quidditch captain the Puddlemere ever had, her mother was a War hero, her twin was a legend in the making, and her brother was practically infamous. For years, Tinsley had told herself to be patient. To wait- that someday, she'll live up the expectations too. Now, she wasn't too sure. She had nothing to show off, to prove that she was worth something. For a moment, Tinsley wondered where the self-pity came from. To common knowledge, Tinsley has always been the care-free one, the free spirit. So since when did Miss Tinsley have those dark thoughts?

The aged stone steps was hard as Tinsley attempted to climb them, pieces of the worn rocks falling apart. The cold air whipped at Tinsley's face, tousling her dark hair behind her. But Tinsley didn't care- she just wanted to reach the top. She had discovered this passage to the top during her fourth year, after getting lost. But to her surprise, she found that she loved the view. From the top, you can forget about everything and everyone. The stars were so bright, you'd feel as though you can touch them. As long as you don't look down, Tinsley reminded herself with a sickening jolt. It was the place where Tinsley could clear her head, fill herself with hope. Because, really- what has she done in life? In her eyes, she hasn't done anything. So people come to her, talk to her. And has she ever given them an honest opinion? No- she had lied repeatedly. Tinsley had pretty much abandoned her friends, leaving them in the dust. Roxanne, for one.

If Tinsley had held on to the friendship, things would've gone a completely differently way. She couldn't even save her brother's life. Tinsley would never be able to forget the look on his face. He was already at the top- bright, gifted, and his future was filled with nothing but the best. Tinsley could've saved all that, but she couldn't. A part of her, the darkest part, wondered if she had left him on purpose. A part of her that had just left him to die, because she was jealous. But Tinsley shook that part away- she wasn't a murderer. However, she'd gladly kill the person who took Brenan's life away.

But it's thoughts like that had frightened her. Tinsley Katherine Wood...a murderer? The thought was terrifying, but yet- it took Tinsley's breath away. Grief swept through her, as Tinsley buried her face in her hands. She wasn't a monster, she couldn't be. But the thought lingered. Getting revenge. She couldn't get the thought out.

"Oh god. " Tinsley groaned, not wanting to think anymore. She wanted to be happy again, careless and carefree.

^{STARRING : VIVI [ Tinsley ] & open !
WORDS : 707
STATUS : FINISHED
NOTES : Because I felt like Tinsley should have an open thread
LYRICS USED : USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON
LISTENING TO : wrapped up in your arms- firelight
BANNER CREDIT : TANA
TAGGED : TANA}

[sashaking]

At first, there had been nothing but emptiness. She hadn't been able to comprehend the enormous significance of what she'd done. The feeling of nothing brought with it a striking fear, and a constant weight that settled over her chest at night with unrelenting persistence. It took some time for her to realize that his death was not something that could be reversed or made up for with her own accomplishments. There was nothing she could do; no distance she could run, no goals she could score to ever right such a wrong.

At first, this realization had been crushing. A life had been lost; stolen, and Brenan would never be coming back. Such a promising life... gone in a sickening instant of violence that Sasha remembered clearly, painfully. She knew that if the grief had been hers alone, then she would be able to move on. She could convince herself that the virus had killed him, that it wasn't her fault. It wasn't so simple. He had been a son, a grandson, probably a nephew, and a friend. And then - above all else - a brother.

She never had much reason to interact with Tinsley Wood. Sasha knew of her, had passed her in the halls every week for seven years. They'd crossed paths in Hogsmeade and on certain weekends when the weather was nice. The Gryffindor's face had always been one of casual familiarity, one that would linger in the deep recesses of her memory simply because of perpetual, parallel existance. But now, the memory of the face of the oldest Wood sibling elicited nothing but primal feelings of fear and anxiety, and Sasha hated it more than anything else.

Now, weeks later, Sasha convinced herself that she was moving on from her reclusive depression. She had been surprised to find that her crime was widely unknown throughout the school, that somehow, definitive confirmation of Brenan's killer had not reached the student body. In light of this, Sasha was beginning to slide back into her old routines, and her own way of living. She stopped thinking about how she would deal with any repercussions, or any encounters with distraught family members. In two months, she would be out of Hogwarts, and it would be over. Life would move on, and, like always, she was back to living in the present.

She remembered the tower earlier that day. She'd come here several times in the past, most notably in her fifth year after a quidditch accident where she'd fallen off of her broom at a dangerous height. She ended up in the hospital wing for several weeks recovering from a broken pelvis, and in the weeks following, she'd come to the tower to get over the resulting fear of falling. It was a thrilling experience - dropping out of the tower, speeding face-forward towards the ground with only a broom to prevent imminent death. The rush of adrenaline always seemed to ease her problems, and Sasha desperately wanted to feel free again.

As she ascended the last of the stairs, her train of thought was focused on the broom in her hand and the confident sureness of her steps. She saw the girl at the other side of the open room, but she didn't stop to make any sort of identification. The brown cascading waves of the back of the girl's head could have belonged to anyone. Sasha paused at the top of the staircase, shouldering her broom and shifting her weight to a single foot. She heard the girl's murmur of distraught, and her lips twitched into a familiar, half-hearted smirk.

"You can cry and moan at the top of the tallest tower... God knows, it's been done. But He's not here," she drawled, her voice tired with her own physical aching. "And He doesn't care." Her head tilted slightly, eyebrows arched, observing the stranger with lazy disregard. And then, she caught a glimpse of an angle of the girl's face, and her expression fell. She lowered her broom to her side, and after a second, it slipped out of her grasp completely, clattering to the floor with a rigid, ominous echo that Sasha didn't hear.

notes; oh, sasha.
words; 728
music; like i do by envy on the coast
tagged; tinsley[/size][/color]

[tinsley]

If Tinsley truly wanted revenge, but not to murder, for the death- it would've been simple. Spread the word, Brenan was a beloved student. The Hogwart's population had already made their opinion clear- they couldn't stand the injustice too. But this time, it felt different. If there was anybody to make Sasha pay, it would be Tinsley. And Tinsley alone. For too long, she had let her brother do whatever he wanted without protection. Had he thought she didn't care? A part of Tinsley was still crippled- she hadn't cared enough. At first, Tinsley had somehow convinced herself that she could be perfect. Unstoppable. But there's the final proof that no human could possibly be that perfect. But the other part of Tinsley screamed for justice, she wanted Brenan's absence to be in peace, not one where the murder could be looked with a look on indifference. It just wasn't sure.

But then, it was as if fate themselves called on hope, - or so thats what it seemed to look like to Tinsley. It's gone on for too long. She wasn't sure what getting revenge would do the soul, but she didn't care either. A tiny part in her mind wondered if this was the real Tinsley, one where she could do anything she'd like. Anything. No guilt, no honors. As much as it scared her, it drew to her. Tinsley wanted to move on from this experience as much as anyone. A few people have already continued with their daily lives, going back to normal. Tinsley, quite obviously, was not one of them. She wanted to smile again and actually mean. She wanted to leave her brother's memory in peace.

You can cry and moan at the top of the tallest tower... God knows, it's been done. But He's not here.

A voice interrupted her thoughts, being Tinsley back to Earth. That confused her for a moment or two, before memory stirred. She knows the voice...but how and where? She continued to ponder for a few moments, but before she could turn around, before the words can be processed, she was interrupted again.

And He doesn't care.

Then it came to her. That simple spell, with the same voice, came rushing back to her. Most unfortunately, the words finally seemed to come to her. For a moment, Tinsley was frozen with rage- unable to speak, unable to act. Was this criminal actually mocking her? Mocking...dare she say it? the incident? It felt as if God himself was telling her to do something. Sasha was provoking her, Tinsley was almost sure. A stupid move, Tinsley dismissed quickly with anger. She wasn't the same, vunlerable person she had been before. She could do something to Sasha- make her feel pain.

Turning around, Tinsley faced Sasha for the first time in a while. That face she hated so much, so close. But this was a different expression on her face, something that stopped her. This wasn't the arrogant look. It was pure...fear, it seemed like. However, Tinsley was already too far ahead of herself. She was already over the edge, and it seemed like it was too late. But still, the face remained in her memory. Tinsley wasn't sure why, but she told herself to wait. Pure murder...she doubted she could actually pull that off. But injuries...that just might be possible. But the doubt lingered, like many other things.

Tinsley wasn't for certain why she had decided to bait Sasha. Make her nervous, edgy. " Going to kill off the whole family, King? And what were you saying? Something about God doesn't care? " Tinsley paused, her heart going a million beats a minute. She didn't feel the rush of victory. Perhaps she had to wait.

" Don't think I didn't know that. But that doesn't mean he won't send you straight to Hell. "

^{STARRING : VIVI [ Tinsley ] & ALICIA [ sasha ] !
WORDS :
STATUS : FINISHED
NOTES : Last Angry-Tinsley thread. ( :
LYRICS USED : USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON
LISTENING TO : collide- howdie day
BANNER CREDIT : TANA
TAGGED : TANA}

[sashaking]

She stood rigid until Tinsley spoke. Her tone had an underlying sense of instigation, and it filled Sasha with a sense of justification that, strangely, put her at peace. Gradually, the uncertainty and fear left her. Or at least, she managed to swallow it temporarily. This was familiar - something Sasha could deal with. It was anger and confrontation. Her eyes hardened, narrowing to focus steadily on the other girl. She locked eye contact until Tinsley was done speaking. There was a raw sort of honesty behind her words, and for a brief second, Sasha almost understood.

She allowed the silence to stretch for a moment, nudging her broomstick with the toe of her shoe. She lifted a hand, and by silent command, the magic in the broom responded, lifting up off of the ground and into her awaiting grasp. She sidestepped away from the top of the stairs and softly set her broom against the stone wall. She turned to face Tinsley, her gaze lingering on the floor before returning to the girl's eyes. It was her lack of understanding that would drive Sasha's next words, and although she was trying so hard to get it - to feel anything more than confusion, grief, anger, and fear as she looked upon the sister of the boy she'd killed - there was nothing else. Death was sudden, and death was meaningless. For the second time in her life, death had proven itself to be without reason. Despite her words, Sasha believed in no god, and no hidden purposes. There was no faith and no rationale that explained to her why these things were, and as a person driven by understanding, Sasha was utterly lost.

Neither her ardent stare nor her voice wavered, and Sasha focused on her intensity to hold the doubt at bay. She felt like it was working.

"And what part of you do you believe would make you worth killing?" Her voice was low and somewhat tentative, but there was dark sureness behind her stare. "Certainly not your overwhelming sense of love for your brother. Because, as I recall..." Her tone had risen with confidence and the skin below her eyes lifted into an almost bemused expression of mockery. "While I was smashing his head into that stone walkway... you did nothing." Her face morphed into a sort of satisfied leer at this last word.

"You are as damned as I am."

notes; you have my full blessing to beat Sasha's ass. In case you're interested.
words; 468 - sorry it's so short. :[
music; like i do by envy on the coast
tagged; tinsley[/size][/color]

[tinsley]

Whatever pity Tinsley had felt for this pathetic excuse for a creature was long gone now. Her hesistation seemed like a lifetime, something that could delay her pains. The good part of Tinsley immediately went in hiding, leaving the other side of Tinsley to emerge completely. Tinsley wasn't stupid, she knew the things she was capable of. The pain she could make you feel, if she should ever have the desire. She's felt annoyance before, but this has boiled out to be hard-core hatred. Tinsley wanted nothing more than to make this self-serving monster to pay for what she did. To hear her scream the way her brother had, in her grasp.

But this time, Tinsley wasn't just taking out part of her anger. No, she was going to be fighting with everything she's ever had. Everything she's ever felt. From days of impatience, waiting for the right answer. The fierce desire to be more than what people think she's capable of. The anger of being isolated, of being seen as a delicate, fragile, and incapable. And most importantly, the guilt of not being able to save her brother in time. The pain she had felt after realizing there hadn't been a spell to hold her in place. Fierce rage and a crazed thrist for revenge came to her eyes. She could, and would, make Sasha hurt. Because no one can hurt Sasha the way Tinsley could, or wanted to.

All rational thoughts abandoned her. In a normal fight, Sasha would definately have the strongest advantage. She wasn't a slow, inept challenge. She was bigger than Tinsley, and hardly any moral guides. But Tinsley wasn't so easy either. She wouldn't allow herself to be put in the same position that her brother had been in. In that moment, all cares went away- this time, she would die. And Tinsley would happily watch.

" Oh, don't waste your last breath on me. If I were you, I'd stay praying. Not that it matters much. " Every ounce of good in Tinsley disappeared in the air, leaving a blood thristy, dare I say it?, monster. Her expression on her face was one to run away from, in a stranger's view. It was cruel, it was vengeance, and clearly- she wanted the person standing in front of her to feel something. And not just something- pain.

Thank goodness this is the place where everyone stores their brooms. Thank goodness for years of Quidditch games in the backyard, allowing Tinsley to put all her strength in this one movement. In a blink of an eye, she had grabbed the heaviest broom she could find in the corner. Without a respected sign of warning, the way in a regular duel, she hit Sasha with every ounce of hate, anger, and strength she had. Pushing her toward the edge of the tower, but not completely overboard, Tinsley waited for that surge of happiness. Still, it didn't come. Perhaps Sasha had to be really dead.

" Good. So if I commit murder, it won't be effecting anything. " Tinsley scoffed, her wand in a death-grasp. But she wasn't going to allow Sasha to die quickly. It was going to hurt.

^{STARRING : VIVI [ Tinsley ] & ALICIA [ sasha ] !
WORDS : 531
STATUS : FINISHED
NOTES : x3 This post scared me. But yeah, Tinsley will definately kick Sasha's ass.
LYRICS USED : USE SOMEBODY - KINGS OF LEON
LISTENING TO : collide- howdie day
BANNER CREDIT : TANA
TAGGED : TANA}

[sashaking]

Last breath? Keep praying? Despite the circumstances, Sasha's fight-or-flight mentality immediately shifted to fight, and it was both familiar and refreshing. Then, the rest of her brain caught up, and Sasha hesitated. She connected Tinsley's furious expression with the meaning of her words, and then, her confidence faltered. Her focus blurred and she held her breath, before it was forced from her lungs from some sort of physical blow that Sasha didn't immediately have time to identify.

It happened so quickly, so unexpectedly, that Sasha had little time to even stop and berate herself for failing to see it coming. A suprised cry escaped from her throat as the heavy broom handle to her stomach sent her doubling over in pain that left her unable to resist being shoved back towards the edge of the tower. Her arms were still crossed over her midsection when she realized her predicament. She straightened up as she looked over her shoulder. She was a step away from an impossibly high fall, and her thoughts raced as she tried to imagine what she would spend her last seconds thinking of. She heard the clatter of the broom being tossed away, and felt the empty space in her pocket that her wand usually occupied. Her neck was twisted to stare at the ground below her. It must have been hundreds of feet away. She took a deep breath and forced her thoughts to calm when no final blow came. She anticipated the brandished wand, but still she didn't look. Tinsley must have been waiting for her to look - waiting to look her in the eyes before she sent her to her death. She heard her voice again, tearing through Sasha's haze of disbelief, and she slowly turned her head and upper body to face Brenan's sister.

Murder?

Looking into Tinsley's eyes felt like signing her own death sentence, but Sasha steeled her gaze and did it anyway. She saw unrestrained fire in the other girl's eyes - as if - for the longer her brother's killer was standing, alive, she was being burned from the inside.

Sasha dipped her head forward a bit, her brow pinching together as she held the other girl's stare. A murderer? Was that what she was? She had been holding on to the fact that the virus had taken over her brain - it couldn't truly be her own fault that Brenan was killed. She hadn't been in control of her actions. She wasn't a murderer - not in the same sense as men who killed for money, or men who killed because they could. She wasn't psychotic.

But then again... who else had killed while under the influence of the virus? Sasha had heard about Kieron and Felix, but that had been a different situation entirely. An accident. Brenan's death was intentional, as much as Sasha wanted to believe that it wasn't her direct intention. Maybe it had been her fault? She remembered everything clearly, after all... she remembered attacking two other younger students who had ended up in her path, though it had resulted in a less tragic ending. Was it possible, she thought, that over the weeks since the incident, her guilt had twisted her perception into painting a more acceptable picture of what had really happened that night?

Sasha's eyes widened for a second as she reached her conclusion. She was just like criminals she'd read about in the paper, and seen on the news. Did they not also come up with ridiculous justifications for their horrible actions? Nobody else infected with the virus had committed murder. Only her. Her mind raced back to that night, and suddenly, she was no longer exactly sure of what had happened. She was only sure of one thing - and that was that she had killed Brenan violently - and that his sister, the same sister that was standing in front of her with her wand outstretched and eyes blazing with fury, had seen it all.

She didn't even have to think about her next words. Apologies, at this point, were out of the question. What good would it do? She hated herself for thinking about self-preservation, but despite everything, Sasha didn't want to die from falling out of the astronomy tower. Tinsley's actions were spontaneous and unpredictable, however, and as much as Sasha believed that she wouldn't just send her over the edge (what kind of justice would that be?) she couldn't be completely sure. She'd already underestimated the other girl once already.

"You're going to send me to the ground? To a quick and virtually painless death? After what I did to your brother?" Sasha's teeth were bared and her eyes narrowed in aggression. She almost choked on how easily, how mindlessly the words escaped her lips. Tinsley's actions were justified.

"Tinsley. Tell me. How well were they able to pull off his facial reconstruction? Were you even able to recognize him after I smashed his face into that stone pathway?"

notes; just don't permanently damage her face. she needs that.
words; 922
music; like i do by envy on the coast
tagged; tinsley[/size][/color]

[tinsley]

THE TRUTH COMES OUT IN THE BREAKDOWNS
(• C A N ' T H U R T Y O U L I K E I C A N•)

The terrible thing is, Tinsley didn't want to hurt Sasha like she thought she wanted to. At the moment, there is only two things that Tinsley would want. The most obviously painful one would be that she wanted her brother back. Back and healthy, for him to get a second chance. When people say that you can only have one lifetime, Tinsley never really payed attention. Now the point of that quote stood out like nothing else. Second, she wanted to go back in time. To be the person that she was before, not this cold-hearted, vengeful monster.

For years, Tinsley had been fighting back any signs of weakness. It was already bad enough, everybody doubting her abilities to do anything worthwhile. Instead of that, she had been given one simple order. Stand still, look pretty. Easy command, isn't it? It would've been so easy to just give in, be what people wanted her to be. Her life would've been a perfect fairytale, from Prince Charmings to the dazzling castle. But the prince would be fake and the castle would crumble. The rebel, that's barely there, in her wanted to work for something. Fight for something.

Tinsley wasn't an idiot. There was a good chance that she herself would get hurt in this process. But a part of her didn't care, she just wanted for everything to go away. For seventeen years, she had pushed away anything that might limit her. All chances of finding love, being one of those only saps who believe in it, a forbidden friendship, anything. She hated trying to prove herself, trying to hold everything in. But now, at the worst time possible, all Tinsley wanted to do was to be held. Be told that everything was going to be alright. Pathetic, isn't it?

The Wizarding World hasn't been met with a crime like the Virus since her parent's era. Back then, everything had been in chaos. But they told their children that they are living in a time of peace, uninterrupted happiness. It was a horrible lie, but so alluring. But it just proves that nothing can last forever. Especially not peace on Earth. Tinsley would to trample that person that had come up with this absurd piece of fantasy. After all, who doesn't want a happily ever after? Including her.

" No one said it was going to be painless. In case you haven't forgotten- you murdered my brother. " Just like that, the other Tinsley came back. Her voice was barely recongized. It was vengeful, and it scoffed at the defensive girl in front of her. " Go ahead. Give me one good reason why you had to kill him. " That's the thing that really killed her. Brenan had been innocent, it was cruel. As far as Tinsley was concerned, Sasha and Brenan hadn't even crossed paths before this incident.

As Tinsley spoke those words, she could feel something wet coming down on her face. Rain? No, it couldn't be. The other parts of her body wasn't getting wet. It took her a moment before she realized what she was going. At that moment, Tinsley felt sick to her stomach. Was she crying? It's been so long since she's cried, despite the odds, that Tinsley had almost forgotten what it felt like. Tears came slowly, not rapidly like you'd expect it to, and silently- startling her. But the last thing she needed was to be crying in front of an emotionless sap like Sasha.

Ever since the day of said-event, everybody had been trying to comfort her. It's always been the same old story. Sasha was infected with the virus. She had no idea what she was doing. As if that was going to make her feel any better. Tinsley didn't want anybody making excuses for Sasha. Especially since that it seemed like she didn't regret one thing. Sasha didn't care about the fact that she took a life away. And if she did, she did a hell of a job pretending.

But no one had ever suspected that Tinsley was broken inside. Upset, horrified- yes. But broken? Tinsley suspected that that might be her fault. After all, she had been telling everybody that she was alright. Getting better. It a shame that they believed her so quickly. But then again...Tinsley Wood? Capable of hurting someone? They'd all just scoff.

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • 733
T A G G E D • alicia
O U T F I T •
L Y R I C S • memories by lion if ido
T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • x3 Don't worry, nothing too serious. And this might be one of my worst posts ever. My quality should get better in time.

[sashaking]

Sasha didn't understand. She recognized the anger in the other girl, the dark part of Tinsley that craved vengeance for a tragedy that never should have happened. This, she understood. She saw herself as the catalyst; as the killer, and in this case, why wouldn't Tinsley want to hurt her? But what Sasha didn't see, what no one else saw, was the girl's own regret. She understood, that to her, and everyone else, Tinsley's life seemed to be a modern fairytale... it was, at least, as close as anyone usually ever got. Until now, it appeared as though her only real baggage had been adolescent drama - the kind that consumes one's thoughts in their teenage years, but gradually fades from memory as life moves on. In Sasha's eyes, this was the kind of life that Tinsley chose, and therefore, it must have been the kind of life that Tinsley wanted. Sasha hadn't stopped to think that maybe this wasn't the case - that maybe the other girl's internal conflict ran deeper, and in confronting Sasha, she was really looking for some sort of resolution that wasn't at all hinged on revenge or justice.

In fairytales, the evildoer is overcome, and the hero's problems are therefore resolved. If Sasha was overcome, then Tinsley would know peace again. It was that simple.

Except - unbeknownst to Sasha - it really wasn't.

At this point, standing with her back to impending death, Sasha was highly attuned to her surroundings. She noticed the tears before Tinsley did, but her marble gaze did not falter. Was she really asking for a reason? Was she asking for justification? For resolution? She couldn't fathom the other girl's expectations. Her mind reeled for something tangible. "Oh, I just really didn't want Ravenclaw to win the quidditch house cup this year. That's all." This quick retort was presented to the forefront of Sasha's tongue, but quickly swallowed when she grudgingly accepted that such tasteless jokes were not exactly warranted. But what else was she supposed to say? The truth? "I killed him because I'm crazy. ...I think. We good?"

No. There was no reason. No justification. At least fairytale villains were deluded enough to believe that by their evil, they accomplished good. Sasha was almost jealous.

Her head tilted just barely as she recognized the moment when Tinsley realized she was crying. Sasha's guilt told her that she should be fighting back tears as well, but almost to her dismay, they never came. "There was no good reason... none at all." Her face softened just a bit, and her eyes, revealing just the barest hints of resignation, betrayed her. "Your brother was killed for absolutely nothing."

notes; I thought it was fine... I like the direction you took with explaining Tinsley's character a bit more. I tried to work with that and explain why Sasha just totally isn't getting it.
words; 557
music; wires and the concept of breathing by a skylit drive
tagged; tinsley[/size][/color]

[tinsley]

THE TRUTH COMES OUT IN THE BREAKDOWNS
(• C A N ' T H U R T Y O U L I K E I C A N•)

The wait for the satisfaction of revenge was getting to be a bit painful. Wasn't this how it was supposed to go? The point in the story, the happily ever after. The part where the horrible witch melts into an evil puddle, and everything would go back to normal. In stories, they never mention how much life has changed afterwards. They brush off the loss like dust, easy come easy go. Tinsley knew how she was supposed to feel. Giddy with excitement, as though she was going to the world a favor. And for a while, Tinsley thought exactly that. She didn't like, in the mildest sense, being the damsel in distress. As much fun as it sounds, being rescued and all, it was just utterly painful and horrible.

Why girls insist on being princesses- Tinsley will never find out. Life was ironic that way. At one point, you'd have to realize that life was not a fairytale. You can't pretend that you're living in a glass castle when in truth- your world is crumbling down to ashes in front of you. Then there are people who look the opposite way. Didn't they realize how lucky they are? What they could do, instead of what they couldn't do? In her eyes, being captured and waiting for that nonexistant prince will always be a terrible way to live.

Whether her parents liked it or not, whether the world was prepared for it- Tinsley wasn't one of those girls. Keeping her in a picture-perfect bubble wasn't going to help her, but rather to limit her. Don't get her around- her life wasn't horrible. She knew it could be much worse, compared to unlucky ones. But the bubble was going to fade sometime. When you've been locked up all your life, there's nothing to prepare you for the pain when sometime likes this happens. A bombshell that'll engulf you within moments. Tinsley wasn't ready to deal with the pain, the shock, and the guilt. She was handicapped. She didn't know how to live with this. How to move on, simply because she's never felt it before. Her virture and innocence was completely intact, despite the odds. But now it was catching up with her.

Tinsley wanted to say that she was standing on the brick of victory. About to overcoming everything that life has thrown her way. Laugh in the admist of trouble. But then again, that'd be a big fat lie. Tinsley wasn't a hero, not like this. It felt as though every ounce of courage and rage was being sucked from her. Reason came back to her, though very unwillingly. Brenan wouldn't've wanted Tinsley to kill someone. Tinsley didn't want Tinsley to kill someone. How could she? After all, we are talking about Tinsley Katherine Wood here. A murderer?

All of the sudden, Tinsley felt sick to her stomach. She could hardly believe it. Around a couple minutes ago, Tinsley wanted to send this girl to a very painful death. Maybe it was time to stop dreading the future, stop being so concerned with the past, and just move on already. Isn't that what Tinsley's best at? Pushing people toward the bright side, pushing herself toward the maybe nonexistant side? Tinsley wasn't an optimist, not by large- but there's a part of her that you can't kill. Hope, no matter the amount, still existed in her. Somewhere, that is.

Seeing Sasha's face nearly broke her heart. It was completely against the rules of hate, but Tinsley felt a twinge of pity. Clearly, Sasha was dreading this. A part, no doubt the insane part of her, of her wanted to laugh. Was she afraid of Tinsley? The thought nearly had an reaction out of her. But her expression remained the same. Unwillingly, Tinsley spoke the words that she had been dreading to say.

" No. It was the virus that killed him, wasn't it? " The words itself nearly killed her. Perhaps, in time, Tinsley could find it in herself to forgive Sasha. To forgive herself. But it was going to take a very long time. But it's better than nothing.

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • 689
T A G G E D • alicia
O U T F I T •
L Y R I C S • memories by lion if ido
T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • x3 I think you've described Tinsley perfectly in your post

[sashaking]

Sasha was not oblivious to how painfully the words seemed to fall from Tinsley's throat. Still, she didn't know how to accurately pinpoint this reluctance, and her thoughts were once again leading her to misinterpretation. In spite of her fierce pride, her aloofness, and her independance, Sasha, surprisingly, had her own self-esteem issues. She acknowledged them in their existance, but in their entirety, they were buried and ignored - deemed as hindering and irrelevant. Unlike many of her Slytherin peers, Sasha was not self-absorbed enough to falsely believe that she was secretly revered; she was well aware of the fact that she was widely disliked. In fact, she was quite certain that her own house only put up with her because she was good at quidditch. On most days, this didn't bother her, and she accepted her social standing with casual pessimism.

So, standing in this tower with the potential of death both behind and in front of her, Sasha had just almost completely convinced herself that Brenan's death was entirely her fault. And in this case, why wouldn't Tinsley utterly hate her? Why wouldn't she want to see her suffer - die, even? Sasha saw the regret in her eyes and understood it for something it was not. She saw it as regret - regret that Tinsley wouldn't be justified in killing Sasha, not if it really had been the virus that had killed Brenan. But of course, that wasn't the case. Sasha had revisited that night in both waking thoughts and in her nightmares, and she hurt for Brenan and those he left behind every time. Whatever happened that night, Sasha thought, the virus had fed off of her anger and restlessness. It was almost entirely her fault.

"Would you be disappointed if I said that were true? That you would have no justification for avenging your brother?" Sasha narrowed her eyes and tightened her jaw. She knew what it felt like to have nobody at all to blame. "Or would you be relieved that you wouldn't have to do anything?" She gave a small shake of her head and her voice cracked halfway through her next words."Because I can't tell with you." If she were in Tinsley's place, Sasha would have known the answer, even if she knew it was wrong. She would want to act out of vengeance. Resolution through action and control was vastly more satisfying than coming to terms with her own thoughts and emotions. She'd been through it before, dealing with the death of a best friend whose fate had been entirely preventable and pointless - but alas, there had been nobody to blame. She knew that emotional resolution was important, and that acceptance was necessary - but she didn't like letting go.

But Tinsley... Tinsley was, for all intents and purposes, Sasha's polar opposite. So maybe... maybe she really didn't want to blame her. She blinked once and several tears ran trails down her cheeks as her face fell. "I don't have answers for you, but I can't see how it isn't my fault. But I... I never wanted Brenan to die. I never meant for any of this to happen."

notes; holycrapholycrapholycrap. sorryyyy for the wait. And I'm not meaning to draw this out, but Sasha needs resolution too and right now she's confuuuused.
words; 629
music; wake me up by number one gun
tagged; tinsley[/size][/color]

[tinsley]

THE TRUTH COMES OUT IN THE BREAKDOWNS
(• C A N ' T H U R T Y O U L I K E I C A N•)

Don't do this, Tinsley. Don't do it !

But, of course, she would. She always does. Unable to ignore the tone of Sasha's voice, Tinsley couldn't muster up one ounce of bravery nor hate. It's impossible now. Now that she thought back, she wanted to laugh. In an ironic way, of course. There wasn't anything remotely funny about this issue. Of course Tinsley's hate would turn to pity. It was just so...Tinsley. Only she can be so stupid to pity the one that murdered her brother. She should be ripping Sasha's throat out by now- not looking down, her lips slightly parted with shock. She didn't want to pity, Sasha. In no question, any sane person would've hesitated to kill her. Revenge, they call it. But Tinsley, withotu doubt, has obviously gone insane. Or maybe it's just her soft side speaking. Either way, she couldn't hurt her now. Much less actually commit murder. With the burning rage gone, her stomach clamped together at the thought. Wonderful. She's back to the old Tinsley.

Just bloody wonderful. The ironic thing is- if this hadn't happened, Tinsley would've understood Sasha. It's easier to hide behind a fascade. Without it, you wouldn't know how to act. You might be a better person, or- you can be worse. The longer you do it, the more the facade becomes you. And if you lose it, you're left with nothing. Absolutely nothing. No sense of direction, no sense of self. You'd just be wandering around in the dark. Tinsley could easily relate to that, without problem. Such a shame.

Remorse went through her. Was that what she had been like, a few minutes ago? Tinsley couldn't remember. The look on Sasha's face was too much to bear. So soft. So vulnerable. A huffy voice hissed in her mind, but Tinsley ignored it. For now. " No, it wouldn't. I rather you tell me that Brenan's death was for nothing than to hurt you because I thought it was your fault. " Tinsley mentally cringed slightly. Of course she couldn't tell with her. I's what Tinsley planned on, isn't it? For people to see the better side of her? God knows what the polar opposite of it would be. But it just felt like the right thing to say. The right thing to do.

She slumped down against the opposite wall, not caring that the 'preciously delicate' Tinsley Wood was sitting on the cold ground. She needed to make sure that she wouldn't fall over. Surprising herself, she started to speak.

" You know, I used to think that there was a reason for everything. Eventually, it would make sense. Even if you don't see it at first. Now...I'm not so sure. " Tinsley paused for a moment. " But I do know this. Don't beat yourself up about it. It's not going to do us any good at this point. You bring somebody back from the dead. We should just...move on.

THEY DON'T MEAN ANYTHING OH THOSE MEMORIES
( • A S Y O U S P O K E Y O U R F O R K E D T O N G U E S H O W E D • )

W O R D S • 689
T A G G E D • alicia
O U T F I T •
L Y R I C S • memories by lion if ido
T E M P L A T E • PANIC! ITS LAUZ of CAUTION
N O T E S • x3 I think you've described Tinsley perfectly in your post